QUOTES of the week

‘It’s going to be like Ben Hur – there’ll be a cast of thousands.’ Unnamed MP predicts a huge race to replace Theresa May after she announced she will quit once her Brexit deal is agreed.

‘I iron myself frequently.’ Jo Cameron, who has a genetic mutation which means she cannot feel pain.

‘While an interesting concept, I don’t think anyone on board has signed up for this mystery travel lottery.’ Passenger Son Tran Tuan, who was among those on a British Airways flight to Dusseldorf that mistakenly landed in Edinburgh.

‘Cold? Nonsense! Cold is when you’ve got five inches of ice on your face and you can’t get a Mars Bar into your mouth.’ Actor and Everest veteran Brian Blessed has no time for people who complain about the weather.

‘I had a great time on that show. I got to kiss a lot of men in their 20s.’ Liz Hurley admits that working on The Royals was a dream.

‘One of the ways people can be prepared is doing judo and tae kwondo.’ Tory Sir Christopher Chope urges youngsters to learn martial arts so they can defend themselves against knife crime.

‘It’s not just another oldie shuffling off into the sunset, it’s the end of an era when people from ordinary backgrounds could make their way into the media.’ Broadcaster Michael Buerk laments the impending departure of John Humphrys from the Today programme – all the other presenters are privately educated.

‘I read interviews with women going, “Oh, I’m so confident now I am in my 40s”… Well, actually pfft, ageing is difficult for any woman.’ Actress Eva Green reveals she is tired of people boasting about their happiness as they get older.