QUOTES of the week

‘That’s why we’re going. Nous allons, wir gehen, we’re off!’ Brexit Party MEP Ann Widdecombe uses her maiden speech in the European Parliament to condemn Eurocrats for treating its citizens like slaves. ‘It’s not like my privilege created Fleabag.’ Phoebe Waller-Bridge hits back at criticism that her wealthy background made it easier to write the hit comedy. ‘I leave it to the daytime drinkers who haven’t been able to score a Prozac prescription. Although I’ve heard it is good for removing stains from dentures and dissolving limescale in kettles.’ Restaurateur Russell Norman’s scathing assessment of prosecco.

‘If she isn’t No 1 in the world by the time she’s 20 years old, I would be absolutely shocked.’ John McEnroe on 15-year-old tennis sensation Coco Gauff, who is in the last 16 at Wimbledon.

‘Just about the only sector of society that is fair game is old people. I know – I’ve made plenty of jokes about them myself.’ Broadcaster Jeremy Paxman as he suggests the snowflake generation is responsible for our sense of humour failure. ‘This is not a grown-up discussion. It is little more than a random throwing of sweeties at the children.’ Think-tank boss Paul Johnson condemns Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt over their spending promises. ‘Jess Phillips should try going private. Ours have already been off for a week.’ Comedian Simon Evans’ tongue-in-cheek tweet after the Labour MP left her son outside No10 in protest at some schools closing early on Fridays to save money. ‘Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports.’ Donald Trump extols the efforts of the Continental Army in 1775 during the American Revolutionary War – even though air travel was more than 100 years away.