QUOTES of the week

‘He should get his facts straight. As Lord President of the Council, I am entitled to the privilege of being beheaded.’ Jacob Rees-Mogg hits backs at Lib Dem Galen Milne, who had called for the Tory MP to be hung, drawn and quartered.

‘He is bemused when Jon Snow of Channel 4 News talks of his followers online. Why would John want followers? He wants enemies.’ Justin Webb reveals that his Today programme colleague John Humphrys, who stepped down last week, has never sought to be popular.

‘They picked the wrong one when they picked Doreen.’ Doreen Jones, 81, after she fought off a mugger at a cash machine.

‘I used to be a golden retriever. Now I have to be a little bit more like a fox.’ Taylor Swift admits she is now more cautious when it comes to trusting people.

‘The logic that dictates the biggest events should happen to the major characters [means] these women make the wives of Henry VIII seem relatively lucky.’ Broadcaster Mark Lawson believes female soap stars are featuring in ever-more implausible plots.

‘Somebody up there likes us, Rod.’ Ronnie Wood’s comment to former Faces bandmate Rod Stewart – both men have fought off cancer.

‘If he thinks being a woman is somehow a weakness, he’s about to find out it is not.’ Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson’s warning to Boris Johnson after he used phrases such as ‘big girl’s blouse’ and ‘girly swot’ to insult opponents.

‘My dad’s more than some lunatic who loses his temper. He also loses custody of his first-born child.’ Ireland Baldwin pokes fun at actor father Alec during a TV comedy ‘roast’ – the pair were estranged after he once famously called her a ‘thoughtless little pig’ in a voicemail message.