QUOTES of the week

‘I really don’t want you in pink shorts asking your question.’

Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle warns flamboyant Tory MP Michael Fabricant to adhere to dress standards during virtual sittings of Parliament.

‘It knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because it gets in the lungs and does a tremendous number on them.’

Donald Trump suggests disinfectant jabs could be used to wipe out coronavirus, prompting a furious denial by makers.

‘Andy was trying to wave but they quite rightly thought we were clapping for the amazing work they’re doing.’

Hannah Howells, who was forced to give birth in her car after a passing ambulance crew mistook her husband’s frantic attempt to flag them down.

‘I was supposed to be sexy, trying to seduce him with a fig.

I ended up choking on it and he had to do the Heimlich.’

Halle Berry reveals how Pierce Brosnan saved her life while filming Die Another Day.

‘This is like a world war, except in this case we’re all on the same side.’

Bill Gates describes the battle to defeat coronavirus.

‘No vax Djokovic.’

Twitter user Nick Harvey, a TV score writer, after tennis star Novak Djokovic reveals he is an anti-vaxxer.

‘We are big oafy elephants and they are butterflies.’

Actor Val Kilmer sums up the difference between men and women.

‘Do I envy my ex Rod Stewart for being able to have babies in his 60s? I sincerely doubt he changes nappies.’

Britt Ekland believes older fathers get an easy ride.