QUOTES of the week

‘When I look at our country today… I say with pride that we are still a nation those brave soldiers, sailors and airmen would recognise and admire.’ The Queen pays tribute to the spirit of Britons on the 75th anniversary of VE Day. ‘If you don’t know what a university is for, please leave Oxford and make way for those who do.’ Academic Richard Dawkins hits out at woke students calling for the university to drop ‘ableist, transphobic, classist and misogynistic content’ from its reading lists. ‘Prof Lockdown broke lockdown with his trousers down.’ Headline in The Sun after Professor Neil Ferguson quit as a Government coronavirus adviser over visits to his home by his married lover. ‘I’m bringing in the hottest substitute teacher ever.’ Joe Wicks, who asked his model wife Rosie, left, to take over his lockdown PE session after he underwent surgery. ‘I’m trying to get into the rhythm of the birds. Obviously it’s a different language and I don’t quite understand it but they’re not talking gibberish, that lot.’ Rocker Liam Gallagher reveals he is trying to master the complexities of birdsong during the lockdown. ‘I even signed my CV off: “Previous experience: Comedian. So I know that it’s all in the delivery!” Still nothing.’ Comic Jason Manford, who was turned down for a delivery job at Tesco. ‘She refused a tip.’ Apprentice star Lord Sugar after his wife Ann ‘did a great job’ cutting his hair for the first time in more than half a century – she was a 16-year-old hairdresser when they first met. ‘The Corbyn Cabinet was full of… high levels of abuse or obsequiousness. That doesn’t happen any more.’ Lord Falconer, who has returned to the Shadow Cabinet under Sir Keir Starmer.