It’s all kicking off AGAIN
Last year Harry Redknapp’s England heroes thrashed Germany – now for the rematch...
The sporting calendar has been torn to shreds by the pandemic, yet fans need not entirely despair. For even after the calamitous postponement of the European Championships, we can still see an all-star team of England internationals taking on the cream of continental football. But be warned: these household names – led by manager and onetime king of the I’m A Celebrity… jungle Harry Redknapp – are several years (in some cases decades) past their prime.
Yes, it’s the return of the veteran squad first seen last year in Harry’s Heroes: The Full English, in which Matt Le Tissier, David Seaman, Paul Merson and the fearsome Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock were among the hotshot heavyweights battling both to slim down and to beat old enemies on the pitch. That show culminated in a 4-2 victory over Germany. Now, in a brilliantly entertaining series showing over three consecutive nights, the game is afoot once more, as Redknapp rallies the troops with immortal, inspiring words: ‘The Germans. They want a rematch. We done ’em last time. We’ll do ’em again.’
Before that no-holds-barred return fixture comes an epic tour of Europe, in which the team first wend their way through France and Italy and wage war with their ever-widening waistlines. Not everyone, it has to be said, is entirely dedicated to the challenge, thanks to the old school approach embodied most of all by
Ruddock, who on arrival across the Channel declares: ‘Boys on tour. Loads of getting drunk. Loads of banter. Let’s have a laugh!’
What follows has a large element of Carry On-style laddish caper, as the players guzzle booze, chomp down greasy food and breathlessly struggle on the pitch against warm-up opponents including a team of nudist amateurs. And there are some new faces to look out for: Robbie Fowler is stuck in Australia, but the replacement who strolls into a Paris bar and quips: ‘You need a striker, I heard!’ isn’t half-bad: it’s Michael Owen, the teenage wonder of France ’98.
There’s also a surprisingly affecting, serious side to the story, particularly for Merson, whose life was changed by making last year’s series: ‘I’ve come to realise I’m powerless over alcohol. I’m an alcoholic.’ Now sober, no longer gambling and with his family life and marriage restored, he’s worried about his team-mates and despairs of Ruddock’s cavalier attitude to his own health.
It’s one thing to take on the Germans – but can these headstrong, middle-aged sporting stars also conquer their demons?