QUOTES of the week

‘Almost as eagerly awaited as a pint will be a haircut, particularly by me.’ Boris Johnson looks forward to pubs and hair salons reopening in England from Saturday.

‘Sir, there were several articles in Saturday’s Comment section with which I profoundly disagreed. Keep up the good work.’ Alan Hawkes, of Saffron Walden, Essex, writes to The Times in support of free speech.

‘15 out of 10.’ White House aide rates Donald Trump’s rage after thousands of opponents surreptitiously booked tickets to his campaign rally in Tulsa, then failed to turn up, leaving the venue twothirds empty.

‘We lost our 5 little stars in the sky.’ Jamie Oliver’s wife Jools on the agony of suffering so many miscarriages.

‘There’s nothing there. If he walked across a sieve he’d probably completely disappear.’ Former Minister’s description of Housing Secretary Robert Jenrick, who is embroiled in a row over a £1billion redevelopment plan by a Tory donor.

‘Remember to teach children that “they”, “them” and “their” can be singular as well as plural.’ Extract from pressure group Stonewall’s curriculum guide for primary schools teaching children about trans rights – and the dangers of saying ‘he’ or ‘she’.

‘May I suggest, as a minimum, shorter services, even shorter sermons, some comfortable words from the Book of Common Prayer, and an end to prating prelates?’ Tory MP Sir Desmond Swayne’s plans to lure people back to church.

‘A hard rain is coming.’ No10 aide Dominic Cummings quotes Bob Dylan as he reportedly warns the Civil Service to expect a major shake-up.