His last message to Charles: Look after the Queen – and lead the Royal Family...
Just one illustration of how father and son grew closer than ever in Duke’s final months
WITH his life drawing to a close, a frail Duke of Edinburgh had just three important things to say when he asked to see his eldest son in hospital a few weeks ago. In an emotional bedside conversation, the Duke advised Prince Charles on caring for the Queen when he was gone, and on how Charles should lead the Royal Family through the years ahead.
And, fully aware he was unlikely to recover after weeks in hospital, the 99-year-old expressed a wish to go finally home, a Palace source revealed. He wanted to die in his own bed, behind the walls of Windsor Castle.
This heart-to-heart marked not just the ending of a long and successful era, a changing of the guard, but a much-changed relationship between father and son, too. For after a lifetime of well-publicised disagreement, it is understood that the Duke and Charles have found much common ground in recent years, and particularly in the past few months.
Like so many fathers and sons with sharp minds and forthright beliefs, they had frequent clashes – often on questions such as organic and genetically engineered food production.
‘They’ve both mellowed,’ said a well-placed source. ‘In recent years they were much more accepting of the other’s point of view.
‘They have always loved one another – that was never in question. But there was a deeper respect and it was growing.
‘They shared common ground on the future direction of the monarchy, on religious issues – even on the environment. They both believed in inter-faith dialogue and that talking openly and honestly can only help strengthen communities and understanding.’
A close friend of the Prince added:
‘The idea that these are two men who spent a lifetime at loggerheads, and that Princess Anne was the son he wished he’d had, is out of date and wrong. A much more accurate picture over the last ten years is of two very strong-willed people who came to understand each other’s point of view.
‘A father and son who loved each other and enjoyed a relationship of mutual respect and affection.
‘Over the last year of Philip’s life, they were the closest that they’ve ever been.’
Prince Charles is said to have been in constant contact with his father both in person and by telephone over the past few weeks and is believed to have seen him for the last time on Tuesday.
Although resting at home, Prince Philip remained gravely ill after his weeks in hospital and heart operation. Yet there was a time when relations between father and son were so tense that letters were the only means of communication between them. When they did meet in person, disagreement would soon break out.
‘They kissed each other when they met, but within a short time the mood would change. They would fundamentally disagree about big issues,’ said one senior figure in the Royal Household.
The difficulties began early, with alpha-male Philip apparently struggling to understand his more sensitive first-born son. Perhaps worried
Charles would be seen as weak, Philip deliberately set about attempting to ‘toughen him up’.
He believed in, and practised, socalled ‘authoritarian parenting’.
In his defence, Philip was concerned by signs that Charles was being over-indulged by those around him, not least the Queen Mother, and felt it was his duty to introduce some ‘tough love’ to counteract the spoiling.
Philip’s choice of school for Charles was similarly no-nonsense.
The Duke favoured Gordonstoun in
Scotland, which he had attended. He had loved the rugged approach and the emphasis on outdoor life and physical activity.
But the decision seemed to disregard Charles’s very different nature and has since been viewed as a mistake – not least by Charles himself, who variously described Gordonstoun as ‘hell on earth’ and ‘a prison sentence’.
Later, it was claimed that the Prince of Wales and his father fell out over Princess Diana.
In fact, it is wholly wrong to suggest that Philip forced Charles to marry her. He did not – and Charles did not consider his father in any way to blame for the marriage or its subsequent failure.
What is true is that the Duke, along with the Queen, was keen for
'The idea that Anne was the son he wished he’d had is wrong'
Charles to marry a suitable bride and, in time, to produce an heir.
Given Charles was approaching 32, Philip decided to write to his eldest son about it, stressing he felt he should either propose marriage to Lady Diana or let her go.
It was a warm, affectionate and encouraging letter – not an abrupt order, as some of his critics have maintained.
However, the Duke was deeply hurt by the way Charles aired his feelings in interviews with biographer Jonathan Dimbleby in 1994.
As well as admitting infidelity following the breakdown of his marriage, Charles spoke of his unhappiness as a child, and accused the Queen of being emotionally and physically distant. His greatest anger, however, was reserved for his father, who was described as
‘harsh’ and ‘hectoring’. All that Philip would say at the time was that he and the Queen had done the best they could as parents.
Father and son disagreed about many issues, but none more prominently than the environment.
In 2008, for example, the Duke told Sir Trevor McDonald he doubted the value of organic farming – despite his son’s passionate commitment – claiming it may not have ‘real benefit’. He told viewers that, in contrast, he supported the genetic modification of crops – something opposed by Charles.
‘I think people are beginning to realise that some of the chickens are coming home to roost and settle heavily in the genetically modified trees,’ noted the Duke.
Yet even on this subject, there has been a significant rapprochement between the two men in recent years. The most significant sign of this came in 2017, when Philip was happy to let Charles take over the Home Farms at Sandringham and
Windsor. ‘They didn’t see eye to eye on this for years but it is interesting that the Duke now respects the work the Prince of Wales has done in this field,’ said a current member of the Royal household.
Another informed source added: ‘They came to have very similar views on a whole range of issues from social mobility to religion to the environment.
‘Even when they didn’t agree, on organic farming, for example, Philip didn’t get in the way of
Charles’s plan to turn the Sandringham estate organic.
‘The Duke in the end respected that it was now Charles’s turn to run the farms, and to do it how he sees fit.’
The two men grew notably closer after Philip announced his retirement from public duties in August that same year.
No longer burdened by officialdom, the Duke found more time to spend with his four children, as well as be a grandfather and greatgrandfather to new generations of Royals.
He left the decision-making to his wife, the Monarch, and his eldest son, the future King. But he still stepped in when he felt it was necessary.
In 2019, following days of mounting pressure over Prince Andrew’s disastrous television interview over his friendship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, it was Philip who orchestrated the showdown meeting with Charles at Sandringham.
And it was Philip who elected to speak to Andrew first – to soften the blow that the Duke of York would have no choice but to step back from Royal duties.
The relationship between Charles and Philip was beginning to look very much like a partnership – a fondness evident in the tribute Charles, 72, paid to his ‘dear papa’ yesterday.
Philip was a ‘much loved and appreciated figure’, the Prince said
The two men grew notably closer after the Duke retired from duty
in a special televised tribute and ‘a very special person’.
Perhaps it is only with the benefit of hindsight, reflecting on a long life of service.
Or perhaps father and son were always far closer than they liked to believe.
‘They were both extremely passionate about their beliefs. That didn’t make them enemies – it just meant that they disagreed,’ said a Royal source.
And as for all those formal sounding letters?
‘The Prince often wrote to his father when he was away on overseas tours,’ said a friend. ‘It was a way they shared ideas.’
In an interview with Alan Titchmarsh for ITV some years ago, the presenter asked Philip how important he considered his role as a father compared to that of a Queen’s consort. ‘Was that a role you were conscious of fulfilling?’ Titchmarsh asked.
‘No, I was a father,’ Philip snapped back. ‘Are you a father? Well, do you think about it?’