QUOTES of the week

‘I told the Prime Minister we have something in common – we both married way above our station.’

President Joe Biden’s quip after meeting Boris Johnson and new wife Carrie for the first time at the G7 summit in Cornwall.

‘Are you supposed to look as if you’re enjoying yourself?’

The Queen draws laughter from G7 leaders as they prepare for a group photo.

‘Luckily, her super-badass twin was there to punch it repeatedly.’ Hana Laurie hails her sister Georgia, who fought off a crocodile that was attacking her twin Melissa in a Mexican lagoon.

‘Down with Macronia.’ Damien Tarel shortly before slapping French President Emmanuel Macron during an election walkabout. He was later jailed for four months.

‘It really scared me because if you go too far, you end up in India.’ Actress Toni Collette on the perils of trying to perfect a Welsh accent for the film Dream Horse.

‘Freedom of speech allows even intelligent people to be offensive and obnoxiously ignorant.’ Oxford University Chancellor Lord Patten after Magdalen College students ‘cancelled the Queen’ by removing her portrait from their Middle Common Room.

‘It doesn’t hurt as much as looking into the mirror and seeing your hairline disappearing.’

Strictly star Anton du Beke opens up about his decision to have a painful hair transplant.

‘Georgina Floydina.’

Columnist Julie Burchill suggests a joke name for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s baby daughter – she later claimed she was sacked by the Telegraph over it.

‘It went well until she threw her mortar board in the air and the dog ran off with it.’

T’Pau singer Carol Decker, who had to conduct a graduation ceremony for her daughter in their garden due to Covid restrictions.