A magical musical spoof... and a very risqué Do-Re-Mi
Television is finally returning to something like normal now we’ve seen off the football and tennis. Mondays even feel like Mondays again as the quiz show Only Connect (Nly Cnnct?) has returned – Mndys rn’t Mndys wtht Nly Cnnct and its missing vowels round – and Channel 5 was back with a stripped-through-the-week thriller, Lie With Me, which I didn’t watch, because I have stripped-through-the-week-thriller fatigue, remember? I think it was that Noel Clarke one that finished me off.
I was, I admit, tempted by this one, because usually I’m so committed, and ever hopeful, but as the doctor said to me: ‘This is one of the worst cases of stripped-through-theweek-thriller fatigue I have ever seen. You must let go of small communities with big secrets and beset by wooden acting if you are ever to recover your mojo.’
I would also say that I began to feel sorry for the workers in the factories where these thrillers are made. I don’t doubt they work long, hard hours, and then I come along and go: ‘Man alive, look at the plot hole in that!’ Why they don’t have quality control on site, I don’t know. (Oh God, I’m now worried that Lie With Me was actually good. Was it?)
The highlight of the week, then, was the comedy musical drama Schmigadoon!, which is terrific fun, and I’m sorry if you don’t get Apple TV+, but I don’t either, although they will send you shows if you’re a reviewer, so I’m sorry you’re not a reviewer. I don’t know why I’m a reviewer. It just happened. So it may happen for you too one day? If you sit tight.
Meanwhile, here’s the deal: Melissa and Josh (played by Cecily Strong and KeeganMichael Key) are New York doctors, and they’re in a relationship but it’s on the rocks. They are attending a couples’ retreat when they get lost in the woods, cross a little bridge, and whoa! They’ve entered Schmigadoon, an allsinging, all-dancing, Golden-Ageof-musicals hamlet.
The inhabitants are out in force and put on a big number, welcoming them to their little community, ‘where the sun shines bright from July to June and the air is as sweet as a macaroon’. Melissa and Josh are terrified and about-turn but find they won’t be able to leave until they find true love. ‘We’re smart. We found our way out of Ikea. We can find our way out of here,’ insists Melissa. But no.
If you don’t like musicals you won’t like this, and won’t get it, but if you do, you so will. It’s part homage, part spoof, with every trope lovingly upended. There are elements of Carousel, Oklahoma!, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers, Brigadoon (of course) and a version of Do-Re-Mi from The Sound Of Music explaining the reproductive system that will have you roaring your head off. There are good jokes about musicals themselves, particularly the fact that no one in a musical knows they are singing. And, of course, everyone dreads the ‘dream ballet’ because, as Melissa says: ‘They’re annoying and boring and stupid and slow everything down.’ I laughed.
The production values are seriously high. So it’s proper, Broadway-standard choreography and dancing – a tap-dance sequence in episode four (of the six) was so terrific I rewound and watched it again – and costumes.
Initially, I wondered if the conceit might not stretch to six episodes, particularly as Josh isn’t especially likeable and is a bit of a drag, but that’s actually clever because he is, as becomes clear, the King from The King And I (kind of), so what we’re seeing is ‘a morally adrift narcissist who has to change’.
As for emotional heft, it does develop, while Alan Cumming’s performance as closeted Mayor Menlove (ha!) is surprisingly moving from the start. This has energy, and smarts, and while some gags don’t land, others very much do. That dream ballet. Didn’t it always ruin it for you too?
The latest cookery-as-competition show, Cooking With The Stars, features eight celebrities who can’t cook – by which they mean won’t cook; anyone can follow a recipe, surely – and are mentored by famous chefs before competing against one another.
In the order you might have actually heard of them, the first episode featured Shirley Ballas, Johnny Vegas, Harry Judd and DJ Naughty Boy. Shirley did surprisingly well, and cried. Judd nearly cut off his finger. Blah-de-blah-de-blah. What I was most struck by were the repeated mentions of M&S. ‘Shirley will now have to poach her M&S chicken breasts,’ said the voiceover. Or it was: ‘Is the pan hot enough for Harry’s M&S scallops?’
I was so astonished I rewound to check. Have we seen this before? I haven’t. I’ve since learned that M&S ‘co-funded’ the show and now I’m wondering if other brands will follow suit? Will DCI John Barnaby from Midsomer Murders be saying: ‘Coming, just give me five minutes to Harpic my toilet bowl’? Will Davina settle down to break some news in Long Lost Family and say: ‘Lovely sofa. Furniture Village?’ Actually, I always love Davina’s coats, so if someone were to say ‘Lovely coat, Davina. Arket?’ I would find that useful, in fact.
Anyway, that’s it for this week, and remember: sit tight, as that reviewer call can come at any time (mine came around 8pm).