QUOTES of the week

‘People want the teaching of Christ when they go to church. They don’t want a happyclappy chat show or a glorified yoga centre where Bible, prayer and worship are sidelined.’

Dr Michael Azir-Ali, the former Bishop of Rochester, on his decision to

quit the Church of England. ‘We are keeping our powder dry and maybe in a decade or so it might be appropriate to try again.’

Giles Brandreth after the Queen, 95, turned down his invitation to accept The Oldie Of The Year award. ‘He’s prone to jumping from one belief to another like a frog on water lilies.’ Former French President Francois Hollande turns his fire on successor Emmanuel Macron. ‘Some brass neck for a man who looks like a thumb hit by a hammer.’ Twitter user

Mark Hebden after radio host Steve

Allen, right, described Strictly star Tilly Ramsay, left, as a ‘chubby little thing’. ‘The Greenshirts of the Boiler Police are not going to kick in your door with their sandal-clad feet and seize, at carrot-point, your trusty old combi.’ Boris Johnson, who is encouraging people to replace their gas boilers with heat pumps. ‘We’re just trying to work out whether we slept together. Once you get to our age you forget.’ Novelist Jilly Cooper, 84, after bumping into Coronation Street veteran Bill Roache, 89. ‘When I wake up and think I’m going to run for President – I don’t feel good. When I wake up and don’t think about it – I feel fine.’ Former US Secretary of State Colin Powell, who died last week aged 84, on his decision not to run for the White House.

‘Hopefully I’ll get a decent belt with the cheque.’

British tennis star Cameron Norrie after winning £880,000 for his triumph at the Indian Wells tournament – he has been using a shoelace to keep up his trousers.