Welby: God saved me from self-hatred
THE Archbishop of Canterbury says his faith acted as a ‘safety net’ at times in his life when he struggled with depression.
Justin Welby said that it was
‘very odd’ to feel the love of God and a ‘real, vicious sense of dislike of oneself’ simultaneously.
He opened up about his personal experiences in the first episode of The Archbishop Interviews, new on Radio 4 and BBC Sounds.
In the episode, Welby spoke with author Elif Shafak and explored the topics of faith, doubt and depression.
‘One of the symptoms of it [depression] is self-hatred, selfcontempt, a real, vicious sense of dislike of oneself,’ he said.
‘And that seems very odd when it combines with a deep sense that I’m loved by God. And in my life that expressed itself as a safety net.
‘I would say in my prayers: I may be this terrible person, this failure as an archbishop, but I know you know me better than I know myself and you still love me. And by that I am held.’
Welby said a book written by his daughter, Katharine Welby-Roberts, encouraged him to speak to others and get help. ‘For me one of the most important things was a book written by our eldest daughter,’ he added.
‘She had a breakdown and very severe depression, and still suffers from illness, and she’s married now with two children.
‘She wrote a beautiful book called I Thought There Would Be Cake. In other words, when she was grown-up, there’d be cake. And how different it was. And in that book there was a chapter about the need to be open to speak to others.
‘And so I did. I went to get some help and that has made a huge difference.’ l The Archbishop Interviews is on Radio 4 today at 1.30pm and on BBC Sounds.