At team meals, I’d be thinking: ‘I hope I don’t choke here’. I literally couldn’t swallow my food
MOTHERWELL’S SEAN GOSS ON OVERCOMING RARE CONDITION THAT MADE EATING UNBEARABLE
GIFTED enough to earn a promotion to the Manchester United first-team squad at 19, Sean Goss’s career stalled as his body failed him in the most fundamental fashion. It mattered not a jot that he had the work ethic to match the skill levels that caught the eye of Louis van Gaal and earned him a seat on the plane to America for preseason in 2015. Not when a rare condition made it impossible to properly swallow his food.
Talent is nothing without hard work and the midfielder simply couldn’t take on enough fuel to complete the required mileage.
Eosinophilic Oesophagitis made mealtimes torture for Goss. He’d choose the softest items on the menus and require constant sips of water to try and help the food down. The slow pace at which he ate became the focus of so-called dressing-room banter and his lack of sustenance left him drained and sleeping through much of his spare time.
Embarrassed and perhaps a little scared by his condition, he kept it quiet, something he now regrets.
Inevitably, he slipped down the football food chain, transferring to QPR for £500,000 in 2017 from where he embarked on ill-fated loan spells at Rangers and St Johnstone before winding up at Shrewsbury Town.
Last season, he finally gained a conclusive diagnosis and underwent corrective surgery. He has bounced back by signing for Motherwell with a ravenous appetite for food and football.
Those Rangers fans underwhelmed by his performances four years ago might see a different, more powerful player today as Motherwell visit on league duty.
‘It’s only looking back that I realise how much the condition affected me,’ he says. ‘I had weight loss, I was feeling tired all the time and that was making me get injured. I was missing out on meals. I had to have meal replacements, swapping them for protein shakes.
‘I can feel a difference now. I’m slowly putting weight back on after having the operation in the summer. Every day I can feel a change in my body, I’ve got more life about me.
‘After training, I’m not shattered when I get home. I don’t need to have a four-hour nap.
‘I’ve always felt fit but you need to refuel your body for recovery and I couldn’t do that. And that’s why I got niggling injuries.
‘Hopefully, I can kick on from here.’
While a peak-era Paul Scholes would have struggled to elevate Rangers’ dire performances in season 2017-18, Goss admits his condition was especially troublesome during his six-month spell in Glasgow.
Signed by Graeme Murty, who’d been placed in charge following the departure of Pedro Caixinha, Goss (right) made little impact.
‘I had it when I was at Rangers but it was something I kept to myself,’ he admits. ‘I’d have a bit of banter with the lads about how slow I was eating.
‘I’d be first in the canteen and last out. I literally couldn’t swallow my food. But it has massive side-effects.
‘At a team meal, I’d be thinking: “I hope I don’t choke here”. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of everyone.
‘It was really tough and it’s hard to explain unless you’ve had it. The fear of choking after you’ve been in hospital is quite scary.
‘My mum would invite me home for a roast dinner on a Sunday. But I’d still be sitting there an hour and a half later and it was stone cold.’
In a sport where scientists and nutritionists are employed to effect the most marginal of gains, it seems astonishing that the medical staffs at clubs as big as United, QPR and Rangers did not pick up on his condition sooner. That’s why he is so keen to speak out today and hopefully raise awareness.
‘I didn’t know where to go,’ he admits. ‘The condition is not well known and when I mentioned it to the doctor a few times he said he’d keep an eye on it.
‘I had a headache one day at QPR. I got two paracetamol, cut them in half but one of them lodged at the back of my throat.
‘That’s when we knew I had to get it sorted. But it took me over a year to find out what it was after seeing different people.
‘My mum said I had a few incidents when I was younger but it was when I got to 19 or 20 when I got it really bad. I had it every day and I tried living with it.
‘Eventually, I got medication, three months’ worth for twice a day. That helped in the short term.’
Ultimately Goss, 26, had to brace himself for surgical intervention.
‘In the summer, I had a dilation — they put a balloon down my throat to stretch my oesophagus.
‘We’re still not sure what causes it, we couldn’t get to the bottom of it. I’d get home from training every day, close the curtains, sleep, try and have a bit of dinner then go back to sleep again.
‘When I went out I’d try to avoid steak or chicken, I’d go for softer foods like fish. I’d eat stuff like peanut butter because it’s high in calories.
‘Now, I can’t stop eating! It’s great to eat for pleasure. When I had the op and went home, my family were saying it was like I’d never eaten before. I was shovelling everything in front of me. ‘Eating is a part of your
social life so it’s good to enjoy that again. Previously, I was always worried about making a scene, so I’d need a litre bottle of water beside me.
‘With every swallow, I’d need to have a sip. If I got to my third sip and it wasn’t going down, I knew I’d need to get to the hospital.’
That Goss’s condition remained undiagnosed is all the more remarkable given the overlapping illness suffered by another Old Trafford midfielder, Darren Fletcher.
The former Scotland captain spent months out of the game as he fought ulcerative colitis. The two conditions are very different but the symptoms of fatigue and low energy are similar.
Ironically enough, Goss was selected as Fletcher’s foil during a comeback bounce match.
Little did he know that the start of Fletcher’s long recovery would also coincide with the outset of his own troubled journey.
‘I played in midfield with Darren on his first game back, I think it was a closed-doors tournament,’ he recalls. ‘But, although I was there when he had his problem, we never spoke about it.
‘I think it’s important I speak about it now. I’ve talked to the charity and there are a lot of people who have it but don’t know.
‘If I can help one person, it will be a bonus because I wouldn’t want anyone feeling the way I was.
‘I’m in remission now and it’s about trying to keep on top of it.
‘Since the operation I’ve been taking one tablet a day. But I was just dying to eat something that would go down without a litre of water — and to be able to finish my plate.’