QUOTES of the week

‘Manchester United are rubbish.’

A BBC trainee learning to use its News channel ticker makes their footballing views known during a practice session which goes live.

‘Oh no, not you two again.’

Prince Charles greets Ant and Dec at a Prince’s Trust awards ceremony. They called it ‘classic HRH bantz’.

‘Sir Beer Korma.’

Boris Johnson’s new name for the Labour leader – shortly after saying he had been humbled by Sue Gray’s report into the Partygate scandal.

‘You could offer a free pint.’

Prince William offers a suggestion about how to get men to come along for free health checks at a mobile Man Van clinic at London’s Royal Marsden Hospital.

‘We seem to have got away with it.’

Martin Reynolds, Boris Johnson’s former Principal Private Secretary, after 200 were invited to a bring-yourown booze party in the No10 garden while gatherings of more than two were banned.

‘But is it a garden?’

Monty Don as the Chelsea Flower Show crowns the messy Rewilding Britain garden – featuring a ramshackle shed and a pile of sticks – as best in show.

‘If you film me for long enough, you’re going to see lots of tics.’

Billie Eilish reveals that living with Tourette’s syndrome is ‘exhausting’.

‘It is a reminder that life continues to blossom, even in some of the hardest places, and brings a smile to all of our faces, even in the hardest of times – particularly mine.’

Dame Deborah James, known as Bowel Babe, visits the Chelsea Flower Show to see a rose that bears her name.

‘We didn’t care about us. We wanted to storm the building. We wanted to get our babies out.’

Javier Cazares, who lost his daughter in the Robb Elementary School massacre in Texas, as police faced mounting criticism for allowing the teenage gunman to run amok for up to an hour.