5 things we learned this week

1 ‘Eating local’ won’t make much difference to your carbon footprint. Transporting food usually contributes only a fraction of its overall carbon output: six per cent, according to one analysis. The carbon saved by eating less meat far outweighs any savings made by sticking with home-grown produce, says Tom Chivers, science writer for the i paper. Indeed, it’s ‘often more efficient to ship some foodstuffs like tomatoes from warmer countries, rather than growing them in a UK winter under heating and lights’.

2 More than 80 per cent of Europe’s oldest trees are in Britain. London’s Richmond Park alone contains more 500-year-old trees than France and Germany combined. King John is thought to have put his seal to Magna Carta beneath the 2,500-year-old Ankerwycke Yew in Berkshire in 1215, and the Major Oak in Sherwood Forest stood at the time of Robin Hood. What may be the oldest living thing in Britain is the Fortingall Yew, in Perthshire, which some think has been around for as long as 9,000 years.

3 A new hangover pill has gone on sale in the UK. Intended to be taken two hours before a booze-up, Myrkl contains bacteria that break down 70 per cent of alcohol 60 minutes after it is consumed.

4 Rich New Yorkers are having bladder surgery to make the three-plus-hour drive to their weekend hideaways in the Hamptons more bearable. According to Manhattan urologist David Shusterman, whose ‘Hamptons bladder’ procedures reduce the urge to pee, ‘a lot of people have problems with this issue’ because the route from the city to the Long Island enclave has few loos along the way. His tagline? ‘Race to the Hamptons, not to the bathroom.’

5 Members of the SAS have been told to stop using nicknames that might cause offence. Banned terms include ‘Doris’ (female soldiers), ‘Ruperts’ (officers), ‘crabs’ (the RAF, supposedly because their uniform is the same colour as a pubic lice ointment), and ‘green slime’ (Intelligence Corp, because of their distinctly coloured berets). ‘The SAS thrives on banter,’ an insider is quoted as saying. ‘They have to do a lot of nasty stuff, and it’s their way of dealing with it.’

Sign up to The Knowledge, a free daily newsletter that distils the world’s news into a five-minute read, at theknowledge.com