QUOTES of the week

‘It’s a man’s game all of a sudden again… Men at it, blow for blow, and the referee letting them get on with it.’ Pundit Graeme Souness sparks a social-media backlash with his choice of words after a feisty encounter between Chelsea and Spurs. He refused to apologise. ‘If you kissed a girl three times, four brothers came round and made you marry her. It was like living in Sicily – without the spaghetti and sunshine.’ Sir Michael Caine on life in the 1960s, as revealed in a newly unearthed interview with David Frost. ‘An arranger of noises.’ Eighties pop star Gary Numan’s description of himself – he says he’s embarrassed to be labelled a musician because his three children play the piano better than he does. ‘Who has more fun – blondes or brunettes?’ Dame Joan Collins, who has swapped her usual dark locks for a platinumblonde look for her role in the TV show American Horror Story. ‘They wouldn’t do the decent thing and leave when it started crying. I get that it must be tough as a new parent but please don’t bring babies to adult shows.’ Comic Matt Forde’s tweet goes viral after his Edinburgh show was interrupted by a newborn. ‘The nicknames Cheesemongers,

Cherry Pickers, Bob’s Own and The Emperor’s Chambermaids have been used for which group of men?’ ‘Homosexuals?’

University Challenge answer that made host Jeremy Paxman laugh the most during his 28 years in charge. The correct answer was ‘Army regiments’. ‘I kinda love a train strike. Saves me £55.’ Twitter user mocks union leaders over their latest strike action. ‘Never punish people who are making money. You don’t help feed children by making successful people ashamed.’

Chef Tom Kerridge defends his costly menus.