Why it is the end of the world for me and Wales

I HAVE some news to share. I’ve decided to call time on my Wales career after the World Cup. It’s 15 years since I turned up to my first camp and it feels like the right time to walk away.

I’m not on social media so I wanted to use this column to explain my decision. I have a young family in France now and I don’t think it’s fair for me to keep getting on a flight every autumn, summer and Six Nations. My eldest, James, is at an age where he has school shows and sports days and I don’t want to miss those moments.

Playing 10 for Wales takes its toll. I had a conversation about this the other day with my wife, Alex.

To be brutally honest, my body has started to feel more like a 34-year-old’s in the last 12 months. I still feel great on the pitch but the recovery days and the days off are getting a little harder.

I’m not as durable as the teenager who turned up to his first camp in 2008 and got a b ***** king from Alan Phillips, the team manager, for arriving in flip-flops!

I’ve always wanted to stop on my own terms. If I don’t retire myself then I know I will get pushed out eventually. Sam Costellow is coming through — it’s his moment now. I have seen so many great players get phased out by injury or selection and I didn’t want that to happen to me.

I grabbed Warren Gatland in the team room on Thursday morning and told him my decision. We had a conversation before I was pulled out of the South Africa game last weekend with injury.

I had a twinge in my back and I was desperate to play, so I told him it will probably be my last game in Cardiff. Gats is an intelligent bloke. He got the gist but he said we need to think about the World Cup.

But I’m not going to France to enjoy the weather and have a bit of a kickaround in the sun. I want to go out with as much of a bang as possible. The dream would be to get out of the group, go deep into the tournament and go out on a real high.

I want to do my family proud and my mum will be at the front of my mind. She passed away a couple of years ago. It’s been sad not having her there to see some of my biggest moments, like playing for the Lions, reaching 100 Wales caps and moving to Toulon.

There have been ups and downs but that’s what makes the good times so special. I’ll miss it dearly but hopefully I can look back at the end of the World Cup and know there’s not too much more I could have given to the shirt.