• Everyday pauses Relaxing rituals

MAKING TIME FOR SIMPLE RITUALS CAN HELP TO BRING A NEW SENSE OF CALM AND PURPOSE TO YOUR LIFE

Rather than drawing up the usual list of resolutions, this new year you could start to build some simple rituals into your day. A ritual doesn’t have to be religious or involve an altar of crystals or complicated ingredients, it is simply a moment in which you pause, pay attention and set an intention. You might already be thinking you don’t have time, but the simplest way is to link it to something you do already. Can you close your eyes and focus on your breath for the time it takes the kettle to boil? Can you add a drop of lavender essential oil to your moisturiser at night to help you sleep? Think of it as a way of making ordinary things special and special things extra special.

A ritual should give you a sense of ease and space in your life. It shouldn’t feel like another chore on your to-do list or something that has to be done a certain way. It’s best to find and create the rituals that resonate with you and what you need. Here are a few ideas that people find helpful at this time of year, and during any times of change.

MORNING CANDLE RITUAL

This is a lovely ritual to perform on dark winter mornings.

Rather than switching on lights as soon as you wake up, maintain the winter darkness for a little longer and reach for some candles. Spend the first 20 minutes of your day in the warm glow of candlelight. You can sit quietly, or make a cup of tea, or just potter around the house. Feel how the candlelight allows you to transition slowly into your day.

We so often race from moment to moment, forgetting that transitions also deserve our attention and our respect. Taking time to honour this space will set the tone for how you tackle the day ahead. If you have children or other people in the house that might disturb you, try getting up 20 minutes earlier to allow yourself this time.

“A ritual needn’t be religious. It is simply a moment in which you pause, pay attention and set an intention”

COFFEE POT MEDITATION

Make taking time for yourself part of your morning routine. A daily check-in with your headspace is as important as getting dressed or brushing your teeth. Many of us have stovetop coffeepots or coffee machines that take about ten minutes to percolate. What do you do in that time? Probably rush around doing morning chores, trying not to waste those precious few minutes. Instead, try practising a short meditation while waiting ( you can just sit quietly on a chair and breathe). Linking meditation to the coffee habit helps fix it as part of your morning routine. If you don’t drink coffee or fancy meditation, is there a similar habit that you can link to a moment of morning stillness and contemplation? Could you do some simple stretches while you wait for the kettle to boil or bath to fill?

INVITING LOVE

We don’t believe in magic spells for love, but we do believe in being clear about what you want to invite. Paying attention to your needs will help you think more about what new love might look like or how you might nurture your current relationship.

According to feng shui, you can find the love corner of your house by standing at the front door of your home, facing inside. From this point locate the far right corner of your home – that’s your love corner. If

you’re in a flat, use the door to your flat, rather than the one to the whole building. Things to ditch from your love corner:

• Pictures of ex partners or photos of just one person • Prickly and spiky plants

• Games and toys ( you don’t want to be inviting players)

• Television or other distractions

• Baggage ( literally – no suitcases)

• Rubbish bin. Things to add to your love corner:

• Symbols of love – these will be unique to you, but objects that are red, white or pink are associated with love

• Photographs of happy couples

• Pairs of objects, such as two candles or tealights

• Fresh flowers or a plant

• Two rose quartz crystals – the crystal most associated with love (opposite page). Clear your love corner of all clutter and make it clean and inviting. Always keep the love corner free of dust. Write down your intentions for love and keep them in this corner – perhaps placed under a crystal.

ENJOYING A NEW SPACE

This is a really beautiful ritual for a new home or a new space in an old home, like a new extension or a room you’ve redecorated. Buy some fresh flowers and pick the flower heads off the stems. Take a tealight and a small plate for each room, including the bathroom and the space by the

front door (or just do this for the room that you’ve recently changed). Place a tealight in the centre of each plate and arrange the flowers around it.

Place a plate in each room, light the candle, and set a little prayer or intention for that particular space. You can do this by meditating in each room or writing the prayers or intentions down and placing them in the room – be as creative as you want. For example, in the living room you might wish for family harmony; in a child’s bedroom, a feeling of safety and nurturing. In the bedroom, you might wish for a loving and passionate relationship. In bathrooms, we wish for good elimination (it matters!).

Fill your space with the intentions and wishes of everyone who will spend time there. Blow out all candles before you leave.

BEDTIME RITUAL

An essential-oil pillow spray not only smells beautiful – a nightly ritual of turning down your sheets and spritzing it onto your pillows before bed can feel immediately calming. The essential oils in this spray all encourage relaxation; vetiver is especially good for insomnia.

Pillow spray

• 80ml distilled water • 10 drops lavender essential oil • 5 drops camomile essential oil • 5 drops vetiver essential oil Combine and store all the ingredients in a glass spray bottle, then shake the bottle well before you spray it over your pillow. Don’t forget your feet Putting essential oil on the soles of your feet before bedtime can help calm the nervous system and get you ready for sleep. Try lavender or Roman camomile oil ( both renowned sleep aids) and gently massage into the feet, either neat or mixed with a little coconut oil.

GROUNDING RITUAL

In the midst of change, especially unwanted change, it’s very easy to find yourself in a spiral of stress and emotions. A grounding ritual will help to bring you back to the present moment and remind you that when everything feels up in the air, you are in fact rooted and connected to the earth.

One of the simplest ways to feel grounded is to take off your shoes and stand or walk on the earth – outside on grass is best. Close your eyes and think about your connection to the ground. Feel as if you have roots growing from the soles of your feet, all the way deep into the earth. Concentrate on your breath. It may feel a bit silly at first, but it is a surprisingly powerful practice for calming yourself down. If feeling brave, lie flat on the grass. Spread yourself out like a starfish and feel your whole body connect with the ground.

Extracted from Rituals for Every Day by Nadia Narain & Katia Narain Phillips (Hutchinson). Photography: Issy Crocker

“A grounding ritual will remind you that when everything feels up in the air, you are in fact rooted to the earth”