Ringing the changes
WHEN DID YOU LAST PICK UP THE TELEPHONE JUST FOR A NATTER? REDISCOVER THE LOST ART OF THE PHONE CALL
The first ever phone call didn’t get off to an auspicious start, it must be said. When Alexander Graham Bell made that notable call, he said only, “Mr Watson, come here. I want you.” A Post-it note would have done the job just as well, really.
If only Mr Bell could have foreseen the incessant chattering to come; the sitting on stairs, receiver cradled between ear and shoulder, ignoring the shouts of your parents to get off the phone before 6pm; the trying desperately to have some privacy with one’s beau while standing in the hallway with members of the house stepping over you while you try to maintain a coy demeanour (“you hang up first! No YOU hang up.” Click…) Or the call to a mum or sister to hear a warm, familiar voice say, “Hello, love” when far from home.
Communication has moved on, with messaging apps and video chats, but while we were being dazzled by them, did we forget about the magic of a phone call?
The hours-long rambling chat that leaves you with a hot ear, cheeks aching from laughter and the warm feeling of having spent time in someone’s company, even though you haven’t. It’s a habit that’s worth reviving, particularly around Christmas, and especially in a winter when seeing loved ones is even more difficult. Here’s how to rediscover the lost art of the phone call.
GO LOW TECH
Most of us are out of the swing of taking random phone calls so you might need to make a date by text at first. But we highly recommend moving on to more maverick phone calling. Remember when you knew the times all your friends ate dinner and would plan your calls around it? We also recommend calling by landline rather than mobile, too, not just for the nostalgia factor, but for the excitement of them answering the phone and not knowing who’s at the other end. Before you know it, they’ll be racing the rest of the household to answer it again, just like we did way back when.
REVEL IN THE GOLDEN GLAMOUR
One major plus with the telephone as opposed to video calls, is that you can call wherever you like. Prop yourself up in bed with a bed jacket and the telephone in the manner of a 1950s Hollywood star (or simply give off that air and sit in your pyjamas under the duvet – your conversation partner will never know either way).
TUNE INTO THEIR MOOD
Don’t worry about what to say, but more what to hear. Be sure you’re listening particularly well as the conversation starts; this is the moment when you’ll pick up most on their mood and how they really are. You might feel like not being face-to-face is a barrier, but in fact, a Yale University study showed that we interpret emotions most accurately when we can ONLY hear someone’s voice rather than see them, too.
MAKE IT PERSONAL
Follow up on things you discussed when last you spoke; have they painted their bathroom, had a child waiting for exam results or an irritating colleague to deal with? Topics of ‘shared interest’ are good; children (if you both have them), the dreadful weather (assuming they don’t live in Barbados) or the news stories of the day ( perhaps give Covid and Brexit a miss if you’re hoping they’ll return your call). Reminiscing is bonding, too: “I was thinking about you the other day and the time we accidentally attended that Royal polo match/got my foot stuck in your cat flap/thought we’d found Shergar.”
A NOTE ON RINGING OFF
End on a high. Saying “I’m terribly sorry your roof fell in but I must go,” makes you sound like a fairweather friend. Wait until they’ve said something hilarious and get in there at the end of the laughter with “Oh, that’s going to have me chuckling all night. And on that note, I really must go and