A LABOUR OF LOVE

Georgette Heyer scrupulously researched her Regency tales – luckily, you can use this handy recipe.

1 Take one dashing potential suitor (preferably an Earl, but a Viscount will do if you can’t find one in your local nobility shop). Add a dastardly, but ravishing, love rival who wears tight breeches and an air of mystery at all times. Allow to simmer for at least seven hours.

2 Stir in four interfering siblings and three jealous cousins. Sprinkle with a generous pinch of unsolicited motherly opinion.

3 Mix together at the family’s ancestral pile in Surrey. Try not to let tensions boil over, but don’t worry if you do – a dip in the fountain will help reduce the heat.

4 While the romance is slowly cooking, get to work on your side dish of A Letter Hand-Delivered To Yet Another Man, Regretfully Informing Him of Your Decision Not To Marry. You’ll need a small carriage and two heavy-bottomed horses.

It’s best to start this on a stormy night for optimum juiciness.

5 By the time the side dish is finished, you’ll have come down with a fever. Cover yourself with a damp cloth and rest in a cool room for a few days.

6 When everything is ready, serve in the centre of the maze in the Upper Clematis Garden, with a garnish of passionate kissing and emotional declarations of eternal love.

7 Finally, don’t forget to name your romance! Follow this triedand-tested method for best results: The [surname of favourite teacher + ton] Hall Chronicles: Taming the [rank of love interest] of [last meal you ate]. Look out for our new story, The Macdonaldton Hall Chronicles: Taming the Viscount of Weetabix, coming soon.