There’s no shortage of zombies in real life
I NEVER did see Brad Pitt in George Square. By the time I got there he’d been limo’d off to his luxury B&B in Bridgeton and all that was left was the aftermath of a zombie attack.
This was when Hollywood came to Glesca and the area round the City Chambers was turned into a film set because it looked like Philadelphia but was much cheaper. (From Second City of the Empire to Stunt Double for a Second-Rate Colonial Town. Ah, how have the mighty went and fell.)
Nevertheless, it was amusing to see American road signs on familiar streets and American cars littering the city centre after being blown up and/or crushed by whatever weapons the zombies were wielding.
Not that I’ll ever know what they were doing or why because I’ll never see World War Z. Apparently it’s out in a couple of months but not even the prospect of seeing a yellow taxi pulverized outside what I know is really Greggs will tempt me to watch it.
Well, it’s about zombies, isn’t it. They’re a step below vampires on the movie adolescence scale and proof that the only people who have had their brains eaten
The walking dead are not exactly uncommon in modern Britain
(that’s what zombies do, if you’re wondering) are the people who make films.
And anyway, if I were to walk through George Square on any normal day I’d see more real zombies than the poisoned imagination of a Hollywood screenwriter could ever come up with. The walking dead are not exactly uncommon in modern Britain, thanks to excess of drugs, alcohol, TV and computers.
But the idea that they could ever combine to pose a positive threat to society is ludicrous even by movie standards. They’d have to get out of bed before noon for a start.
Maybe this is why zombie stories are so popular just now — young people feel they can identify with them.
Well, they wouldn’t be so keen if they’d ever witnessed a real zombie attack in George Square, as did those of us who once upon a time got the late bus from the cenotaph.
Terrifying singing, the threat that the guy with the Lanliq might start talking to you, or that his sullen friend would deposit his recentlyconsumed curry on your shoes . . .
Now that would be a genuinely scary film. Wonder if Angelina Jolie would play the love interest on the back seat?