Listen and learn, it’s the key to a happy family

FromatheHrearet

It takes a lot to make a marriage that works but I’m sticking my neck out here and believing that George Clooney and his wife- to- be, Amul A l amud d i n , might actually be the couple that works.

Why? Because George’s mum and Amul’s mum happen to rub along quite n i c e l y. They were photographed shopping together last week in Lake Como.

Bar i a Almuddin and Nina Clooney couldn’t be two different women if they tried.

Different countries, different cultures, but these two women have one fundamental thing in common – they love their children and they want them to be happy.

So often our kids get involved and fall in love with people and we don’t actually understand why. But it’s my belief that if you trust your children, you go with that and do your utmost to accept the person they have chosen to spend their life with.

George Clooney has taken a long time to find that person. The most gorgeous man on the planet hasn’t been persuaded into marriage easily.

Amal Alamuddin is beautiful, intelligent and the woman with whom he wants to share a future.

I bet his mum Nina has been hoping he’d find his significant other, make her his wife and have babies.

It’s what mums do. And it makes a huge amount of difference if you accept all the baggage that comes with that.

I’m meaning the in- laws you inherit when your kids marry. You may not like them. You may not share the same views about everything. You may be worlds apart in your thinking.

But remember one thing – your child has chosen to marry into this family and whatever it takes you must do everything in your power to make that as smooth, happy and comfortable a transition as possible. I happen to like the families of the people my c h i l d re n have married.

We share the same world view. We want our kids to be h a p py, successful and prosperous.

We are equally dotty and obsessed about our grandchildren. But we are very different sorts of p e o p l e. T h a t’s actually OK.

But I do think that parents need to take the lead in this situation and understand that when your children marry you lose a little part of them. They make their way in a new situation and their partner brings to that all of his or her upbringing. That may be very different from the way you do things in your family – but with a bit of wisdom and commonsense you get to grips with the fact there’s no perfect way.

Life is about compromises. Listening, learning and understanding. GREAT tomes have been written about the differences between the male and female sexes.

Why do they act and feel differently?

Is it parental or social i nfluences that make the difference?

I can only say that I think it’s more basic than that.

Women want what they want and they won’t settle for less. It’s tricky. Last week we took our four- year- old grandaughter Jamila with us to our caravan at Portpatrick.

She met a five-year-old boy Lewis who was staying with his grandparents in the next caravan. After a while, they became good friends.

On a picnic on the grass outside the caravan our grandaughter picked a daisy – long- stemmed and perfect and gave it to Lewis.

“Thank you,” he said p o l i t e l y. Then he picked one for her.

She looked at it and tossed it aside. “Too small,” she said.

He picked another. It looked half-dead. “Disgusting,” she said and tossed it aside.

Lewis looked more than a little bemused.

He’d done his best. He’d tried to please her, so just what was she fussing about?. Women have their little ways. It starts early in life and it lasts for ever.