Your dad was scarred by war

IT is eleven years since my father passed away, aged 75.

I was born when he was away at war in 1942, and he returned in 1946.

I am the eldest of seven children and was treated by him as a black sheep and outsider.

I was the one who always got the hidings.

Why?

Tony. When parents are blessed with children and they are handed to them after birth, they don’t instantly become experienced parents!

They have to learn by trial and error and, when given the responsibility of looking after a child, the learning period can be quite daunting and a worry at times.

I have a sister who is four years older than me and have had her say, throughout our lives, how I got off lightly with things compared to her.

As the first born, she had to endure the strictness of our parents’ inexperience.

Your father was thrown into the deep end when he returned from war and also carried the emotional stress at having to adapt to civilian life.

He also had to cope with the responsibilities of a young lad who, through circumstances completely outwith his control, was not there to instantly bond with from birth.

He can now see from the spirit side that he did not handle things in the right way with you but it was through his lack of experience and also the trauma of war.

His behaviour towards you was in no way your fault as you were just a child.

When you eventually become reunited, I am certain he will do a lot of explaining to you.

Dear June

I enjoy reading your column each week so have decided to write to you.

We lost our only son Brian in a tragic accident almost 22 years ago, aged just 15. I have many pictures of him around the house and talk to him constantly.

I think of him every day and birthdays and Christmas are hard to get through but my faith and belief in the afterlife helps.

Brian and his dad were very close and his father even now has not come to terms with losing him. Can you help him?

Margaret. I can hear the name Margaret being called and am aware of a well-dressed, petite lady with him.

She lost a lot of weight before she passed which I feel would have been a cancerous condition, but she didn’t relay her private information to me and feel this was part of her character.

She was a proud lady in her time and I feel she is more connected to your husband.

She is giving your boy the encouragement, security and love he needs and will continue to nurture him on the spirit side of life.

Having your faith and belief in life after death would ease your pain a little but not everyone has that to comfort them.

To lose a child, most especially for a mother, is a heart-wrenching experience.

Mothers have the maternal instinct to nurture and protect their children and, when they lose a child, they worry about who might be looking after them.

I get the impression your husband does not share your beliefs and feels that the separation is permanent.

This is not the case and they will one day stand side-by-side again.

I am aware of a facial mark or scar. Did your son Brian have one?

I can see also a red car and a picture of a guitar on a stand against a wall.

I feel your son’s passing would have been a traffic accident as I can hear cars on a busy road and the sound of sirens.

I don’t get the impression that he passed away at the scene of an accident and feel the family were with him.

He would have been of quiet nature and was more academic and musical rather than sporty.

He liked his own things about him and was contented with life at home.

I am being shown a picture of a countryside view with a river running through it and feel this place would hold special memories for him.