Ignore the mum mafia, equality means you can make your own choices
NADIYA HUSSAIN, who won this year’s Great British Bake Off, said last week that there was a time when other women’s attitudes to her role as a housewife left her feeling worthless.
Sadly, it’s something many women who choose to stay home with their children experience all too often.
The mum mafia can be very condescending.
“I remember the day I lost my confidence,” Nadiya said.
“I was eight months pregnant and had two small children with me at playgroup.
“One woman approached me and said: ‘You’re here every time I drop my son off. Don’t you have an actual job?’”
“I’m a full-time mum,” Nadiya told her.
“Well, if you can’t get a real job you might as well stay at home,” the other woman declared.
Nadiya said she will never forget how that moment made her feel – worthless, unintelligent, isolated and alone.
“I spent a decade beating myself up after that,” she admitted.
Now why should homemakers be judged as second-class citizens because they don’t have a job outside the home?
Surely if female equality means anything, it gives us the right to make our own choices?
For too long, women simply slotted into the roles which other people thought acceptable for them.
But now that the battles for equality have been fought and won, surely we can come to a sane place where we understand that true freedom is not defined by what you, do but who you are.
And if what you want to do is stay home and raise your kids, what on earth is wrong with that?
It’s a decision many women make – and find totally fulfilling.
They have time to play with their children, to take them on outings to parks or beaches or the local swimming pool.
They enjoy having their kids’ pals round for picnics in the garden or to help make cupcakes in the kitchen.
Stay-at home mums are often the ones who help with playgroup fetes or tending the nursery garden. They’re asked to lend a hand on school outings.
I had the good luck to have umpteen years as a stay-at-home mum and then the same amount of years as a working journalist.
Both were fulfilling and rewarding in different ways.
But I’m glad I didn’t miss out on the fun of building a cave under the living room table with three small boys one snowy afternoon.
Memories are made of these moments.
So, Nadiya, be proud of having the courage of your convictions.
You are not defined by other people’s opinions. You’re a modern woman who knows who she is and what she wants – and that’s the best set of life skills you can possibly give your children.