Why hormonal teen girls really are in a class of their own
Teenage girls have always felt insecure but there is growing evidence that social media is making a new generation feel even more anxious about how they look.
According to a report from The Children’s Society, one in three girls aged 10-15 are unhappy with their appearance while one in seven girls in the same age group aren’t happy with their lives.
Naturally, the researchers say the statistics are worrying.
But I tend to agree with BBC journalist Kaye Adams who argued last week that teenage girls had always felt anxious, and back in the day she was one of them.
Me too. I hated wearing spectacles and worried about my spots and my shyness.
I suffered agonies of insecurity over friendships, boys and what to wear to a school disco.
I wondered if I was nerdy because I preferred reading books to being sporty.
As a young girl you desperately want to be popular, outgoing and cool – and the opinion of your peers matters hugely.
The big difference between then and now is social media.
Previously, you only knew how people felt about you through their reactions.
Now social media puts it all out there – “jokey” remarks and barbed comments which can be hurtful and damaging.
How many young girls religiously consult their phones to see exactly what their so-called friends think of their appearance, behaviour and clothes?
Bitchy comments can ruin a girl’s confidence at a stroke.
Sensitivity is part of being female and being a teenage girl is all about discovering who you are and how others perceive you. The opinion of your peers is crucial.
You are at your most vulnerable. Criticism can hurt deeply.
Boys suffer insecurity too, but handle it differently.
There’s more bravado involved but we shouldn’t underestimate the impact on their feelings either.
Since time began, turbulent emotions have been part of growing up.
My daughter went through agonies if her best friend fell out with her.
There was one summer which was particularly difficult because this girl “dropped” her for another classmate.
Nothing I could say or do would convince her to stop sulking in her bedroom.
In time their friendship got back on track but as parents we can’t help worrying.
All you can do is talk honestly to your child, remember how you felt yourself. Understand that the opinion of their peers right now is more important than yours.
Accept this and be there while they work through their teenage angst. It will pass.
Every age and stage of life brings its quota of insecurities.
Hormonal teenage girls are in a class of their own.