Being a 24/7 carer is tough

Dear June

My husband had been ill for many years and I found it very hard during the last few years to care for him.

He passed away unexpectedly at home and I initially felt relieved for us both, as he’d been suffering organ failure and deteriorated quickly.

I have been feeling very guilty about this.

Irene, Glenrothes

June Says

It can be very difficult to care for a loved one 24/7 and to watch them deteriorate.

There are many family members who have become full-time carers for loved ones in an effort to allow them to be able to stay in their familiar surroundings at home.

It’s not easy as you have full responsibility for their wellbeing.

Over time, the pressure of that responsibility, along with watching a loved one deteriorate, can be emotionally draining.

It is a normal reaction to feel initially relieved at the loss if your loved one has been suffering for a prolonged period of time and you may also feel relief at no longer carrying such a large responsibility.

Your husband is now free from the physical pain he suffered throughout his illness and will forever remember the sacrifices you made for him through love.

He can now totally understand the emotional pressures you suffered in order to give him the love and level of care he required.

Over time, you will slowly recover.

Take comfort from the knowledge he is safely over on the spirit side with loved ones.

Dear June

I am 67 and have lost many of my family over the years from cancer-related illnesses.

Recently, I had been low in energy and blood test results were not as positive as I had hoped.

Knowing my loved ones are around would help me to face whatever lies ahead.

I’d be less apprehensive if I knew they were there for me. Are they all together in the afterlife?

Archie, Sutherland

June Says

Any family loved ones who have passed over will be reunited with those who have previously gone before.

A family with bonds of love cannot be torn apart through physical death.

We are all different people who have had different beginnings and we will also have different endings.

We have all wondered at some point how our lives will end.

Please do not worry, as irrespective of how we pass, those we love will be nearby, offering support in readiness to collect us and take us home.