Dear Maggie

Is it wrong if I object to my ex-hubby taking our daughter on holiday with his new partner?

My husband and I divorced last year after being married for nearly 16 years.

Our 13-year-old daughter chose to stay with me and see her dad at weekends.

It was an arrangement which worked well and everything was going smoothly, I thought, but he has now asked her to go on holiday to Italy this summer with him and his girlfriend.

My daughter really wants to go, but I feel very uncomfortable with the idea.

I don’t know this woman – so why should my daughter spend a holiday with her?

I know she’ll be annoyed with me if I say no, but I really don’t want her to go away with them.

But if he is a good and loving father, then I think you have to realise he has moved on with his life, met someone new and wants to share this holiday with her and his daughter.

I know that’s hard to accept – but I think you need to try to come to terms with that reality.

Why not discuss it with your husband and perhaps even arrange to meet his new partner? Would you be comfortable with that?

I know it might be difficult for you but, in the long run, it would help you if you felt your daughter would be in safe hands.

Divorce is never easy – especially when the children you both love and share are often pulled in two directions.

The best thing you can do in that situation is to be open and welcoming.

Don’t allow yourself to become bitter and difficult about your daughter’s relationship with her dad and his new girlfriend.

Tough, I know – but if you manage it, your daughter will respect you for allowing her to make her own decisions.