Taking chances
Luck smiles on heartbroken Mandy as she realises risks are what life is all about
Blinking furiously to stop the tears from starting again, Mandy stared at her reflection in the shop window. She knew she was looking awful, pale-faced, plain, and dispirited thanks to last week’s conversation with Rory, her boyfriend for the last four years. She knew she would never again find anything to laugh at, or be glad about. What did I do, what have I done, she thought. I’m still me, I still look the same... 5’3”, with long, fair hair, and green eyes. And I still feel the same about you, Rory. So, what’s changed?
The fact was, Rory was going to St. Andrew’s University for the next four years, meeting new people, facing new challenges, it seemed to him the right time to cool their relationship, give each other“space.”
But I don’t want space, she’d said. I want you! And I thought you only wanted me! We promised each other when we were both 14 and old enough to know our own minds,that we’d be true to each other for ever! But Rory had said that things change, people, change, and they should not tie each other down, that maybe they were meant for each other and that this separation would only be a temporary pause, but that they should give each other time to find out.
But Mandy knew that what he meant was that he should be given the freedom to take out who ever he fancied, go to student parties, have a great time, while she – who’d elected to stay here in their home town and learn to be a dental nurse – would be left to find life uneventful, unexciting, uninspiring. There was nothing left for her, now that Rory had ditched her. She might as well go to bed and never get up again.
“Mandy! You look – dreadful....are you Ok?”dave’s familiar voice interrupted her self-pity, and she swung around to face him, grabbing some more tissues from her pocket and blowing her nose. Dave was Rory’s mate – why did he have to turn up now?
“Hi... I’ve picked up a bad cold,”she lied, trying to cover her face with the tissues.“i shouldn’t come too close if I were you.”
“Poor old thing.you look awful,’ he added, unhelpfully.“perhaps you should be in bed.”
“I’m on my way to college – day release,” Mandy said.“just as well I’m not in the surgery today.” She coughed as convincingly as she could.“you off to work?”
“Yep.” He grinned.“an accountant’s life is not a happy one! I’m only on the bottom rung of the ladder now, of course, but everyone is helping me sort out my problems. Actually,” he went on,“i’m being seconded to Swindon branch for training.”
“Nice…” Mandy said doubtfully. Swindon wasn’t exactly known as a swinging city. But she was relieved that talking to someone had stemmed her tears.
“Heard from Rory – or is he too busy enjoying a wild student life?” Dave asked.
Obviously their news hadn’t reached Rory’s friends yet.“oh his time will be full of finding his way around and getting to know how everything ticks,” she said airily.
“But you’ll be going up to see him? And he’ll be coming home regularly?”
“Probably,”mandy replied.“anyway, I must be off. See you soon, Dave.”
How had she managed to have that chat without bursting into more tears and blurting out the awful truth? Mandy hurried away, not looking back.
She usually took the bus to college, but today she’d left home early enough to walk. She couldn’t stay in the house any longer to hear her mother say: “These things happen.you’re both very young, it’s probably all for the best, etc. etc.” Enough to make anyone scream.
Suddenly, a notice board by the side of the pavement caught her attention, and she paused.“holistic Alternatives” it announced grandly.there was a long list – Reflexology, Acupuncture, Relaxation, Neck and Head Massage, Aromatherapy, De-stress Counselling.the last one sounded just right for her.
Impulsively, she rang the bell and entered, explaining to the receptionist that she
would like to see someone about the de-stress treatment. Perhaps a neck massage.
“Mr. Mcdonald’s free tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 o’clock?” the receptionist offered.
Mandy smiled her agreement, already beginning to feel better now that she was taking her first step on the road to finding help.
Next day, , Mandy entered the building again and waited. She could hear muffled voices coming from the treatment rooms, and wondered what the matter was with everyone else.was it only her with this insurmountable weight in her heart? Were their problems easily curable? She’d rather have a broken leg than what she was suffering from. At least you can put a leg in plaster and use a crutch.
Presently, she was shown into a room at the far end and was greeted by a tall, middle-aged man with greying hair, glasses, and a gentle smile. She’d made up her mind that she would explain her presence there as anxiety about her college work which was stopping her from sleeping.together with a feeling of lassitude and tension.
He began by asking about her general state of health and, as he spoke, his lovely, soothing voice had the effect of calming Mandy, of wanting to trust him with her innermost thoughts.and when his firm, authoritative hands manipulated her neck and shoulders, it felt as if a huge pressure was rolling away as she haltingly confessed her real problem.“rory and I were unofficially engaged, you know,” she went on.‘i still can’t believe it. I can’t believe he would do this.’
“Go on,’” said the voice.
“I had no idea – none – that he didn’t want me anymore. Now he’s gone to university, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. We were together for four years. Four wasted years!’ she added bitterly.
“But you were happy for those years?”
“Oh yes! Blissfully! We both were!” “Then they weren’t wasted,” the voice said.“they were good years, weren’t they?” “Yes, they were,”mandy admitted.“but it’s taught me a hard lesson. I will just never trust anyone again, never trust love again! Never take that chance again. It adds up to so much hurt and heartbreak. It’s not worth the pain!”
The voice was silent for a moment.then –“I think you’re wrong, Mandy.you see, we must trust love, trust each other, it’s what makes the world go around, even when things go wrong.wouldn’t life be empty if we doubted everyone, and everything, all the time, and never took any emotional risks? There’s no alternative, really. We’ve all got to go with the flow. Perhaps with our fingers crossed!” He smiled, and Mandy couldn’t help smiling back. He was a very good-looking man, she noticed now, a kind, good-looking man. Feeling relaxed, drowsy, and comfortable, she lost all sense of time, wishing that she could stay there for ever. But eventually the session was over, she paid the fee, and left, adding she would make another appointment later. She did feel better as she walked away. Lighter, optimistic even. Perhaps she would go out tonight, after all, with Sara, her best friend, who’d begged her to try the new club which had just opened.
Four months later, Mandy was having a coffee in town one afternoon when the door of the café opened, and four young children burst in, giggling and jostling each other, followed by a tall man who she recognized at once as Mr. Mcdonald. He looked flushed and exasperated and, without his white coat, he looked ordinary – just like everyone else. And the irritated way he spoke to one of the children as, squabbling, they took their places at the table next to her, didn’t sound like the beautiful voice she remembered so well. He glanced across at her briefly.
“Oh, hello.”he smiled“it’s Mandy, isn’t it?” Mandy was surprised he’d remembered her, and she smiled back, looking at each of the children in turn as the waitress came to take their orders for cokes and ices.the littlest one, sitting close to Mandy, confided excitedly –“We’re collecting our new puppy tomorrow! Even though Daddy said we were never, never, never going to have any more pets!” She looked at her father in childish triumph.
“Why did he say that?” Mandy asked. “Because our last dog was killed by a car recently,” one of the older children cut in. “And we were all upset – little Marky had nightmares, and everyone was crying all the time, and Daddy said that we weren’t going to put ourselves through that again.” The boy grinned.“but Mummy got round him in the end.”
“That was clever of her,” Mandy said. “Mummy told him that it was silly to take that attitude, because you never knew what you might miss out on if you never take any chances. So, eventually Daddy gave in.”
Mandy and the man exchanged glances. Then he said:“and how are you, Mandy? You look very well.”
“I’m OK, thanks,” Mandy said.“i’m getting on well with my course, and I’ve joined a small choir – something I haven’t done before – and it’s such fun. We have a laugh when we get something wrong,”she added.
Suddenly hearing herself say the words made Mandy realise that she was enjoying herself again – even though she’d never thought she could. It was true that her tears hadn’t stopped all at once, but they had stopped, and hearing Rory’s voice on the phone now and again hadn’t reduced her to a snivelling wreck. Christmas had just come and gone, and they’d seen each other a few times when he was home for the holiday, but it wasn’t the same. He hadn’t even bothered to come to the concert the choir had given – well, he wasn’t in the least musical and couldn’t understand what she was going on about. The conductor had chosen festive songs and carols for them to perform which had brought the house down, and the audience had joined in with some of the well known ones at the end. And there had been mince pies and mulled wine after and everyone was happy. And she’d been happy.
Now, picking up her parcels, she stood up to go and turning to the children – “Have you thought of a name for your new dog?”
“Opinions are divided,” their father smiled.
‘Then I think you should call it Lucky, because it’s a lucky little animal that’s going to be part of your family,”mandy said.then she said good bye, and went out into the street.
Turning the corner, she almost collided with a tall man jogging swiftly towards her.
“Hi, Mandy! Gosh, haven’t seen you for ages!” He pulled up, panting.“hey, you’re looking different… you’ve changed your hair style! Suits you – you look terrific!”
“Hi, Dave.” Mandy was genuinely pleased to see him.“how’s Swindon?”
“You remembered – that was clever of you! Swindon’s OK actually,” he said.“better than I thought, anyway.they’re working me very hard and I don’t get home that often.” He paused.“i heard about you and Rory, by the way.that was a surprise.”
“C’est la vie,” Mandy said airily.“we’re living different lives now – things change.”
Dave looked down into her upturned face.“anyone else captured your heart yet, then?”
“No...,” Mandy said,“i’m having a break from relationships for a while. Fun and fancy free!”
“How long for?” Dave asked, somewhat anxiously, and the way he said it made her look up.
“No actual time limit, Dave.”
“Then – can I be first in the queue, Mandy? I mean, none of us had a chance while Rory was around, so I’m putting my bid in now!” He paused“hey – are you doing anything tonight? If not, please let me buy you supper – we can have a real chat – there’s a lot of news to catch up on, isn’t there?”
Mandy stared up at him, at the pleasant, open face and the fair hair plastered to his forehead with perspiration. He wasn’t a bit like Rory, but he was, well, Dave was great in his own way.
“I’d love to come out with you tonight, Dave,” she said.
“Great! Look, I’ll pick you up at 8 o’clock – if you don’t mind trusting my ancient banger!”
Mandy smiled happily. “Of course I’ll trust it,” she said.“what’s life without taking a few chances?”