Gill ian’ s gossip about my silly little row has left me bitter about our coffee mornings
Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to
Dear Maggie
On the housing estate where I live there is a group of wives and mums who meet up for a virtual coffee once a month.
It’s a chance to catch up have a chat over Zoom about our children and a moan about our husbands. I always come away from it feeling positive and happy.
Unfortunately, all that has changed because of a new member who joined our group two months ago. I’ll call her Gillian. At first, she seemed cheerful and good company but in the past few weeks I’ve discovered she has been gossiping about me.
One of the women in the group, Marian, phoned to ask: “Did you sort things out then with your husband?”
Then I remembered something I’d said to Gillian previously.
My husband, Jim, and I had a row and, stupidly, I’d mentioned it to Gillian.
I could tell Marian regretted what she’d said. “Oh I was worried about you,” she blurted out. “I’ve always thought Jim and you have a lovely relationship.”
“We do,” I said firmly. “One row doesn’t mean we’re heading for a divorce.”
The more I’ve thought about it I realise Gillian isn’t to be trusted.
I don’t know if I want to take part in the next coffee morning,. Who else has Gillian spoken to? I just can’t trust her.
Maggie says
I can understand how hurt you feel.
Knowing that someone has been gossiping about you behind your back is very upsetting. But I don’t think you should give up the coffee morning because it’s something you enjoy – why let Gillian spoil that?
So I suggest you continue to take part in the coffee mornings. But just be very careful what you say to Gillian as clearly she is a woman who loves gossip, and can’t be trusted not to pass it on.
Keep the conversation lighthearted and don’t tell her anything which she can build into a drama to pass on to others. Hopefully this will work for you.
Dear Maggie I am so fed up with lockdown that I really want to get a holiday booked so we have something to look forward to.
We usually go to Spain and rent a villa there for a fortnight but when I suggested to my husband we should get it booked now, he said “absolutely not”. He says that there’s no guarantee the pandemic will be over and why risk losing our deposit? Instead of Spain, he suggested we rent a caravan in Scotland for a fortnight. “Spain or Saltcoats – what an option,” I said.
He did laugh at that, but he is determined that this year we should stay in Scotland. Now I know there are some lovely places we haven’t visited yet – but I really feel like a carefree holiday in Spain with guaranteed sunshine.
Maggie says
It’s been a tough year and a lovely summer holiday is something to look forward to. But your husband has a point.
Why not book a holiday in our own country for when it’s safe to travel and do a bit of exploring to find a resort that you’d both enjoy – and save up for a lovely summer holiday in the future?
Spain will still be there.
Maggie Listens, The Sunday Post, Skypark, Suite3/6, Elliot Place, Glasgow G3 8EP maggielistens@sundaypost.com