Francis Gay

MY WEEK

Hilary and Natali have been Facebook friends for years now.

Normally, they just liked and loved each other’s pictures but when the Ukrainian invasion began they actually started talking. You see, Natali is Russian and she thought Hilary was being fed Western propaganda. Hilary, of course, thought the opposite – and an argument began.

Both were firm in their views and tensions rapidly rose. Hilary was on the point of pressing the “unfriend” and “block” buttons when she remembered that Natali had family in Ukraine.

Hilary drew back, changed tack, and said, “I pray your family are safe.” After a longer than normal delay, Natali responded, “Thank you. I pray all families are safe and that this war had never happened.”

Now, they are talking as friends, rather than British and Russian.

How different might the world be if care for each other’s families was escalated to foreign policy everywhere?

There was a man maybe three yards in front of us, and a woman the same distance in front of him. I was walking with a friend.

The woman at the front of our little procession stopped, reached out to the wall on her right, and tried to stand a little straighter.

The man asked if she was OK. She said: “Fine, thanks.” And, so, he kept on walking.

My friend stopped next and asked: “Sciatica?”

The other woman said: “Ohh, yes! How did you know?”

My friend said: “I recognised that lean, and remember how it felt.”

They struck up a conversation I couldn’t be part of, so I made my excuses. A little further along the road, I looked back and they were walking arm-in-arm.

Sympathy and good wishes are all very good, but sometimes you just need to be with someone who really knows what it’s like.

I was part of the crowd cheering on some firewalkers recently. They were raising money for the Chest Heart and Stroke charity but, more than that, they were attempting something they weren’t sure – until the very last moment – that they would be able to do.

I was talking to one of the organisers as he raked the bonfire that provided the burning embers. He said he’d come into the business from a mental health background.

“It isn’t really about walking on fire,” he told me. “It’s about not being controlled by your fears; about understanding that you are stronger than your fears and you don’t need to be limited by them.”

Like I said, I wasn’t one of the firewalkers, I was cheering others on and supporting them. And every one of them made it – twice! But I also support that philosophy.

So, maybe it will be me next time!