Embracing our regrets can help us move onto a better future

Regrets? I’ve had a few. Some bigger than others. I have always tried not to dwell too hard on the mistakes I’ve made in the past, though. I mean, what good will it do? It’s not like I can jump in a time machine to 1991 and unperm my hair.

Of course some life decision, unlike an overdose of ammonia, can have more far-reaching consequences than chronic split ends.

Things like quitting a secure job or calling time on an unhappy marriage; these are the choices that, for better or worse, can change the course of your life forever. Yes, regret can be a painful emotion which is probably why I, like so many others, have always tried to live by French singer Edith Piaf’s words: “Non, Je ne regrette rien.” But this week I read a book that has changed my view.

In The Power Of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, author David H Pink makes a very compelling argument that regret is not a negative emotion to be feared and put in a box. Rather, it is an integral part of being human. Not only that, analysing our regrets can have a hugely positive influence on our mental wellbeing.

On pages 46& 47, Pink, a former chief speechwriter for US VicePresident Al Gore, explains how we can use the power of regret to unburden ourselves, heal old wounds and ultimately build a better future.

Of course, we can’t change the past but – to borrow from another famous song – maybe it’s time we stopped looking back in anger and started cutting ourselves some slack. After all, we all make mistakes – the trick is to learn from them.