I have a new man in my life, but my teenage daughter won’t even agree to meet him

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum-of-four, grandmother-of-eight and dear friend to many, Margaret’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to with your worries

Dear Maggie

I am a 42-year-old mum and I have just started dating again – much to my teenage daughter’s dismay. She is really embarrassed by it and is making life very difficult at home.

She doesn’t want to meet the man I’m seeing and says just the thought of it upsets her. My husband and I divorced 10 years ago and I’ve brought my son and daughter up on my own since he left.

It wasn’t always easy but we were a close and loving unit and home was a comfortable and happy environment.

I joined a singles club earlier this year and met this man, who is the first person I have dated since I’ve been on my own.

He is kind, thoughtful and we have some happy times together but I am very dismayed that my daughter doesn’t want to meet him.

She’s very judgemental of me at the moment and it hurts. My son can’t understand her attitude either. He is happy for me.

I’d like to introduce her to the man I’m seeing, but she refuses. What do you think I should do?

Maggie says

I think you deserve this chance of getting to know someone who cares for you and clearly makes you happy.

You’ve brought up your children on your own and that can’t have been easy at times, but you’ve managed to create a secure home life for them. Be proud of that.

It’s your time now to have some fun and this new relationship is worth cherishing. Take it slowly though. Don’t force your daughter to meet this man until she’s had time to come to terms with it. If she knows you have no intention of giving up on him, gradually, her curiosity will persuade her to find out what he’s like.

For now, keep things simple. Enjoy your date nights, let the relationship take its own course and try not to get wound up by your daughter’s comments. Girls know how to make cutting remarks when they want to hurt.

I think if you can remain calm and unfazed by this, eventually she will realise her tactics aren’t working.

It’s interesting that your son has taken a different approach. Clearly he’s simply happy that you’re happy.

So enjoy this new stage in your life. It’s your time to feel like a woman again – choosing the clothes you want to wear on date nights. Looking your best. Being cherished by someone who cares about you.

In time I believe your daughter will come round to understanding that, if this man is important to you, she needs to meet him. Good luck. You deserve it.