▼ TAKE THE TOWER (ITV4)

It’s safe to say you don’t turn on ITV4 for high-brow or educational programming. The other week I came across a show featuring the bonkers alliance of Henry Winkler, William Shatner, George Foreman and Terry Bradshaw on a National Lampoon-style European road trip.

But that nonsense pales in comparison to ITV4’S new game show, Take The Tower.

In essence, it’s The Crystal Maze for action movie fans. It’s cheesy and it’s hammy, but it knows it’s these things and, against the odds, makes for an entertaining hour.

It’s hosted by Hollywood action star Dolph Lundgren, who revels in his role as the villainous host. He opens the show with, “I’m Dolph Lundgren. You’re welcome”, then slags off the Welsh team’s accent, reads local references from a script with clearly no idea what he’s saying and rhymes off his movie catchphrases.

The first game featured a contestant hanging from a ceiling a la Mission Impossible while trying to complete a task, only to fail miserably. Unlike The Crystal Maze, if you fail you aren’t just locked in the room. No, in Take The Tower you’re ordered to Dolph’s penthouse suite, where the He-man star pushes you out of the window (a green screen has never been used more effectively) while he makes wisecracks.

The finale saw Dolph face off against a contestant, with a trip to New York at stake. Dolph lost, but thankfully he wasn’t thrown out of a window. After all, we want to see more of this nonsense next week.