Mum did so much to help me become a teacher, but how do I tell her I want to quit my job?

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum-of-four, grandmother-of-eight and dear friend to many, Margaret’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to with your worries

Dear Maggie

My dad died when I was just 12 and my mum brought me up alone.

Her big dream for me was that one day I would become a teacher. She always thought it was such a worthwhile job.

So, when I left school I went to teacher training college and my mum obtained a bank loan to help me out.

I enjoyed college and made friends. When I qualified as a teacher, no one could have been prouder than mum.

I got a job at a primary school and tried hard to put into practice everything I had learned at college – but I soon found teaching was not what I thought it would be.

I found the behaviour of the pupils difficult to cope with. Many weren’t interested in learning. If I disciplined a child, their mum was down at the school complaining about me.

I tried all the strategies I’d learned at college but nothing worked.

This is now my third year in the job and I hate it.

How can I tell my mother I want to quit and do something else?

I know she’d be so disappointed and I don’t want to let her down after everything she has done for me.

Maggie says

You’re clearly a very caring woman who appreciates the sacrifices your

Dear Maggie

I suffer from depression and it’s always worse in January and February.

I find sleeping difficult and I lie awake for hours worrying about how exhausted I’ll feel the next day. I’m on prescribed medication but I don’t think it’s working.

I don’t know if guys write to an agony aunt, but I am so fed up I thought I’d give it a chance.

Maggie says

I’m glad you did. Of course men suffer from depression just as much as women.

This time of year is particularly difficult for many people. The mum made for you. But, in the end, the most important thing for your mother is that she wants you to be happy.

Try talking to her honestly about your job and the difficulties you are experiencing. You could try applying for a teaching post in another school and see if that makes any difference. But if it doesn’t, then you need to reconsider your options.

There’s no shame in discovering teaching isn’t for you. It’s a challenging career and needs a lot of energy, commitment and enthusiasm. If you haven’t got that, then you are letting down not just your mum but yourself and your pupils. So it’s better to be honest now rather than later.

Life is a learning curve and the experience you have gained won’t be lost – it will be useful in whatever career path you choose to take.

Look around and ask yourself what attracts you? Talk to people about their jobs. If you need professional advice, make an appointment with a careers advice specialist.

This is your life – and work plays such an important part in our lives that finding a job that is interesting and fulfilling is fundamental to our happiness. Your mum wants the best for you, so be truthful with her.

I do hope you find the right career path.

Good luck. Christmas buzz is over and we are left with bills to pay, dark mornings and not much to look forward to.

It’s worth making an appointment with your doctor to discuss your medication.

I’d also like to suggest you join an exercise class at your local community centre. Many start new classes in January for both men and women. Getting fit and active helps our mental health as well as your physical health.

Try walking for an hour every day – even though the weather is dull and cold. Look around you, there’s always something to see and the physical exercise and fresh air will help you sleep.

Maggie Listens, The Sunday Post, Skypark, Suite 3/6, 8 Elliot Place, Glasgow G3 8EP maggielistens@sundaypost.com