Gran-of-eight Maggie Clayton’s weekly diary
Dear Maggie
My husband and I saved for five years to get the deposit for our first house.
We love our home and enjoy decorating it – we have plans for a new conservatory next and have discovered we would rather spend weekends gardening than partying with our friends.
But two months ago we were out for dinner with a couple we have known for years and two bottles of wine and a few cocktails later, my friend’s husband became a bit aggressive and said: “Don’t you ever get bored rigid with DIY?”
“We enjoy renovating for our home,” I said. “And we get more satisfaction from it than wasting time recovering with a hangover.”
The night out went downhill after that and we haven’t heard from them since.
It doesn’t bother me, but my husband hates falling out with anyone, and we’ve had a few tetchy discussions about it. He wants me to phone and invite them round for dinner. I don’t see the point. I’m very disappointed at my husband’s disloyalty. Why can’t he understand that?
Maggie says
Clearly you are hurt at your husband’s attitude, but I don’t think you should interpret it as disloyalty.
Being married doesn’t mean you have to share the same viewpoint on everything.
Try to see it for what it is a difference of opinion about renovating your home – and it isn’t worth the risk of losing a long-term friendship over.
The planned conservatory sounds great - hopefully his mate will be one of your first guests for dinner.
Think how much you will enjoy pouring him a glass of wine on a balmy summer evening.
Dear Maggie
My boyfriend has just moved in with me and my six year old daughter and we couldn’t be happier.
Every weekend we take her out for a drive in the country or to the beach. I pack the picnic, my boyfriend brings tennis racquets and balls and we sing pop songs as we drive along.
It’s a happiness I never thought I would never experience as I’ve only had one other partner, my daughter’s dad. When I was 18 and told him I was pregnant, he said: “You need to get an abortion.”
Thankfully I didn’t, and my daughter is the best thing that
has ever happened to me, but now she has decided she wants a pet cat. My boyfriend is highly allergic to cats. They make him sneeze non-stop. How can I tell my daughter she can’t have a kitten?
Maggie says
You have to be very honest with her. She is old enough to understand that if cat fur makes your boyfriend ill, then maybe she has to make a decision about this.
Children are never too young to learn the realities of life and how to cope with problems in a caring way.
There are products on the market which deal with allergies effectively. Hopefully you will find one which works for Josh. Or alternatively you could find out if he is OK with dog fur and suggest a puppy instead of a kitten?
Are you struggling in these uncertain times? Contact Maggie for advice by emailing ps@sundaypost.com