Francis Gay

I kept a friend company while he faced a nemesis recently. When I asked him how he felt, he said, “Terrified!” He’s normally reticent when it comes to feelings. I made some hopeless comment about that not being like him.

“It’s weighed me down for years,” he told me. Even when I’m ignoring it or forgetting it, it’s still there as a low-level fear. And, if things had been different, I might have stayed a little afraid for years to come. But now it has to be faced, and all that small stuff has bunched up into one big terror. On the plus side,” he forced a smile, “it ends today.”

Did it end well? Let’s just say we ate a hearty lunch, when neither of us had felt much like breakfast.

Fears. Terrifying as they might be, they are always better dealt with. Then move on, lighter, without them.

Despite being married, Martin still lived a reckless life, which resulted in jail time and drug addiction.

Along the way, he realised he wasn’t being fair, leaving his wife to bring up their children by herself. When he left prison, he checked into rehab. Once he was clean, he got a job and worked every hour available. A year later, he was made redundant. Having to stay home and look after the children while his wife worked, he felt like he had failed in every way possible. That was a year ago. I saw him yesterday, and I’ve never seen him happier.

“I wanted to do everything for my kids,” he told me. “But, I didn’t actually know them. This past year I’ve understood what my wife always told me, that we have wonderful children. I don’t think I’m bringing them up any more. They’re teaching me what really matters!”

We had to wait outside the building. One young man leaned against a wall, kicking a plastic bag away as he did so.

Ten seconds later, the bag was back. He kicked it away again. The breeze took it a fair distance, then brought it back and wrapped it around his ankle. He stamped on it with one foot, then kicked it away with the other. Annoyed now, he watched it twist and swirl as it made its way away, and then right back to hug his knee!

Swearing, he pulled it off his leg and made to throw it somewhere. The someone said, “Wait!” A woman walked over, took the bag and dropped it in the bin that was only a few feet away. She didn’t meet his eye, a few of us tried not to laugh, and nothing was said. But I think a lesson had been taught.