A cautionary Christmas tale for those planning a festive forage

At the risk of being arrested, I have a confession to make. Last December I decided I was going to bring some natural festive cheer into my home by taking some cuttings of holly and ivy from my local park. The plan was to make a decorative centre piece for our Christmas dinner table.

It was a beautiful frosty day, and I was happily snipping the odd red berry-clad twig from the bushes as I walked along, when a man appeared from nowhere and began ranting at me for “stealing public property”.

I was mortified and angry in equal measures, mostly because I had my young son with me. The fact this man was wearing a Santa hat only added to the unreality of the situation.

I tried to explain that I was only taking a tiny bit and it would grow back etc, but he was so incandescent, his face had turned a shade redder than his felt hat. It was only when I pointed out that he was scaring my son, that the angry mist seemed to lift. He stalked off, leaving me shaking and trying to explain to an eight-year-old why Santa was shouting at his mother.

On reflection he probably had a point but I’m sure there were better ways of getting it across.

I felt the need to share this cautionary tale in case anyone had similar notions. But if, like me, you plan to dress your Christmas dinner table in festive cheer, there are still plenty of ways to go about it. On pages 38&39, we have asked experts to share their tablescaping tips for Christmas. And if you do decide to add some pretty foliage, may I suggest trying your local florist?