It’s simple- commitment is the key to raising happy, healthy children
SURPRISE, surprise! A report out this weeks claims children whose parents are married have a better chance of doing well in life.
I wonder how that could be? This study of 3,822 children polled in the British Household Panel Survey contradicts previous claims that children are unaffected by whether their parents are married or not.
But if we like to accept it or not, even very young children pick up on things such as if a relationship is stable and secure.
A wedding ceremony by no means guarantees that, but if a couple are prepared to commit to a relationship there’s a better chance that it will provide the best foundation for building family life.
If mum and dad are constantly changing partners, it’s confusing for the child.
Harry Benson, the research director for the study, said: “It appears that children of married parents are responding to something they see in their parents relationships that reflects greater security.
“They are more likely to see their parents as ‘one solid and secure unit’ and their self esteem benefits accordingly.
“It’s not being moralistic or judgmental to say marriage works best for families. It’s a statement of fact.”
For a while I was a member of
the Children’s Panel System in the Glasgow area. A large number of the children who came before us lived in homes where mum had a succession of boyfriends and this meant discipline was inconsistent and the children had to get accustomed to constantly changing situations.
Kids hate that. They need familiar patterns, some simple house rules, people in whom they can place their trust.
Mum and dad living together don’t always get it right, but they both have a vested interest in the well-being and happiness of the child.
It’s not a guarantee that life will be happy ever after, but it’s a good place to start.
When you look at celebrity lifestyles there are many examples of how this works.
Jamie and Jules Oliver, who have four children and are expecting their fifth, provide a solid base for their kids to learn and grow and understand what’s important in life.
When I interviewed Jamie he told me: “No question, the family comes first and always will. We cook and eat and laugh together and are happiest just hanging out with each other at home.”
Marriage isn’t easy and children pick up very quickly on any tensions in the relationship. They know when mum and dad are having a row. It often makes them feel anxious and uneasy.
But if a couple can work out their problems, no one benefits more than their children.
Isn’t that what we all want?