smiles of the week

excellent return

Strawberries and cream, Pimm’s, Henman Hill – it must be time for Wimbledon. Can Andy Murray win the title for a third time? Let’s hope so.

method in his madness?

Sad to hear legendary method actor Daniel Day Lewis is to retire from acting. But has anyone checked he’s not just playing an actor who retires in his next film?

ducking and driving

Engineers in South Korea have developed a new car horn which quacks like a duck, to reduce noise pollution. This will make road rage incidents absolutely hilarious.

parrot phrasing

A new species of parrot, one with a distinctive squawk, has been discovered. This reminds us of our favourite avian joke. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

arise, reader

Danny Dyer isn’t so special. A geneticist has revealed that the vast majority of us are descended from Edward III. Congratulations – you’re royalty!

not a tragedy

It was great to see Bee Gee Barry Gibb performing at Glastonbury – and rocking a snazzy golden jacket.

rice and shine

Scientists have created a purple rice that can fight off cancer. Purple rice? Sounds like a good mauve.

oh, brienna

Brad Pitt is dating Sienna Miller. We look forward to seeing more of the brilliantly-named Brienna.

great seal

An abandoned seal pup on Mull is doing well after being taken in by the SSPCA. This gets our seal of approval.

look who’s stocking

Researchers have found those who wear wacky socks tend to be more successful. I guess they must have – you’ve guessed it – socks appeal.