Dad’s funeral chat days before shock death

Dear June

MY dad passed away unexpectedly two weeks after my uncle Michael and we are in shock.

We were discussing the funeral arrangements for Michael (my mum’s brother) when Dad told us what he wanted at his service.

He also said he was busy sorting out his business and his will in case anything should happen to him.

He left as usual on a normal working day but lapsed into a diabetic coma. He and Mum had a stupid argument that day and now she blames herself.

Denise, via email.

June Says

When a person is near to death (even if they are not ill and pass unexpectedly), it’s as if their spirit recognises their time on earth is limited and so they have been known to do or say things out of character.

Some people might start to clear out their cupboards and get rid of things they wouldn’t want their family to have to sort through (my mum did that) while others might feel the need to sort out their affairs with a will or legal document.

Others feel impressed to make amends with relatives they’ve not spoken to for years in a subconscious attempt to put things in order.

Those left behind often say their actions were not in keeping with their character and it was as if they knew they didn’t have long left on the physical side of life.

We are all human, busy living an up and down life where harsh words and actions can play out between loved ones.

We all think we have time to sort things out later and most of the time we do, but there are occasions when we don’t and are left feeling terribly guilty.

I am impressed to say the character of your husband was that of a very stubborn man who always liked things his way.

He left here accompanied

by many from spirit side but no physical relatives were present.

I am pulled to two granite headstones standing together that are connected, but I sense they are unfinished.

There is a gentleman present accompanied by a small boy who I feel passed over just after birth and who is related to him.

They all stand together in peace and contentment as a family.

VERDICT

Mum and Dad did have their disagreements more often than not, but they loved each other and usually what they were arguing about was gone the next day.

He was very much the man of the house and always wanted everything carried out to his rules so he and Mum would clash.

There were no family members with him when he died as it was during the night in hospital.

There are two family plots and two headstones together (one is not up to date with the inscription).

My dad used to talk about his brother who was lost at birth and we are hoping they are now together.