Would parents still be alive if I hadn’t moved?

Dear June I am 62 and my parents have both passed. I lived at home with them for most of my life until I found work abroad, where I resided for almost three years. I returned home to help look after my father, who had become more confused due to dementia, as my mother was finding it difficult to cope. He passed a year later and she followed unexpectedly four months after. I carry such guilt at leaving them and wonder if they might still be here had I made different choices. Rob, Tyne & Wear.

June Says

The job of every loving parent is to be there to support and nurture their children until they are ready to fly the nest to make their own place in the world.

That’s what every parent expects to happen at some stage in their child’s life.

We want to see our kids become independent, responsible adults and we work hard to give them sturdy foundations.

I am strongly impressed to say I sense your parents were very close (best friends as well as partners in marriage).

I also get the impression that you were an only child and had a very close bond with your parents.

I am aware of your parents coming forward from spirit and they are so happy to be together.

Your mother makes me aware that she gave up on life after your father passed. She had no interest in life or living and missed him terribly.

I feel she always kept in good health and was not ill prior to her passing but her heart was broken without her partner by her side.

I also sense they lived relatively rural.

I am shown a small black book/notebook by your parents? Is this significant? They are smiling as they show me this.

I see a small grey headstone marking their resting place.

Do not feel guilty. You were always meant to carry on after they passed over and they needed so very much to be together.

They were a loving, quiet, unassuming couple who kept to themselves and appreciated the little things.

I sense you have a lot to sort out and many decisions to make at present? Please know they will be by your side supporting you, like they always did. VERDICT My mother was bereft after the loss of my father and because they lived quite rurally, she missed him even more. She kept good health but passed away peacefully in her sleep, aged 82. They are laid to rest together and their headstone is small and grey. The black notebook was something my father carried at my mother’s insistence when his dementia began. He would sometimes write things in it so he wouldn’t forget. That small notebook was one of the few things we placed with him in his casket.