Partner wants to say thanks

Dear June My partner of 17 years died in my arms in hospital after a long illness. She had a deteriorating lung disease and the final months were a struggle. She was determined to pass away at home but the day before she died she had to be admitted to hospital. Is she finally free of pain? Joyce, Aberdeen.

June Says

There are many people who wish to spend their final days at home.

There is no place like it when you are unwell. People feel more settled in familiar surroundings.

Unfortunately, if their condition takes a turn for the worse you can find yourself at a point where it may become necessary to go to hospital for more specialised care that can’t be done at home.

Your partner will now fully understand why she had to go into hospital at the end of her life.

She will have known you were with her, supporting her through the difficult times she encountered in her last moments.

She is free of any pain and discomfort caused by her deteriorating physical body.

She had always been the assertive one in your relationship (I can sense the strength of character) and she will know how much you miss her, as you relied on her to take the lead.

She now appreciates that during her time of need, you took the lead for her care to ensure she was comfortable during her last moments.

She wants to thank you for the selfless emotional choices you made through your love for her. Dear June We buried our 67-year-old son nearly six weeks ago. He had cancer. We visited him daily but this day he was in a side room heavily sedated. I talked to him for 19 hours. He tried to sit up and I panicked and pressed the buzzer. I can’t forgive myself for not cuddling him but I was

afraid I’d hurt him. I loved him with all my heart. I’m 87. Dorothy.

June Says

Your son knows how much you love him and that you sat with him. He would have been aware of people he knew from spirit side gathering around him to accompany him over.

In the final moments, those who are dying become more aware of spirit around them. Some have been known to open their eyes and stretch out their arms as if recognising a loved one waiting for them.

Others may look up and smile to a vision unseen to anyone but them.

Your son reacted to this in his own way. He was ready to let go of his ailing body and is now safely in their care.