Knick­ers’ burps could cause real coo-tas­tro­phe

The Sunday Post (Newcastle) - - OPINION -

Glad to hear that Knick­ers, a gi­ant Hol­stein-Friesian steer, stand­ing at an as­ton­ish­ing 6ft 4in tall and weigh­ing in at a scales-burst­ing 1.4 tonnes will now spend the rest of his days chew­ing the cud.

His farmer was told to “burger off” by an abat­toir in West­ern Aus­tralia as Knick­ers was too big to be pro­cessed, which has de­lighted mil­lions of an­i­mal lovers and veg­e­tar­i­ans around the world.

Not sure how the res­i­dents of South Queens­land, who had to flee cat­a­strophic bush fires and dev­as­tat­ing flash floods this week will feel about his lucky re­prieve, af­ter cli­ma­tol­o­gists said the meth­ane pro­duced by the burps and parps of live­stock like Knick­ers is the great­est cause of green­house gases and largely re­spon­si­ble for the in­crease in global warm­ing.

Given the size of Knick­ers, one erup­tion from him could prob­a­bly blow Aus­tralia off the map!

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