I’ m suffering from depression and it hurts that my husband doesn’ t show any compassion

Looking for practical advice, relationship help or emotional support? As a mum of four, gran of eight and dear friend to many, Margaret Clayton’s years of experience make her the ideal person to turn to

Dear Maggie

My husband and I are having rows on a daily basis right now and it is getting me down. I spoke to my GP last week and told him how I was feeling.

He said I was suffering from depression and he gave me a prescription for antidepressants which he said would lift my mood. He says, however, it will take three weeks before I notice a real difference.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had the winter blues and I feel so angry that my husband can’t understand how I feel. Surely in a relationship it’s important to know what works for your partner and what doesn’t – and to show a bit of compassion?

Maggie says

I know you must be feeling very low right now and it would have meant a lot to you if your husband noticed and tried to help you lift your mood. But, let’s be honest, many men don’t understand depression and have no idea how to handle it.

It’s called “the dark dog” for a reason – it takes possession of your emotions, it follows you around and colours every experience in your daily life.

It makes sleep difficult, saps your energy and ability to enjoy the daily routines of your life.

Antidepressant pills do help but its important that you understand why you feel

Are you struggling in these uncertain times? Contact Maggie for advice by emailing ps@sundaypost.com

this way and try to work out a way to tackle the issues which bring on this lethargy and low mood.

Perhaps you need to speak to a counsellor and share your emotions with someone who can be non-judgmental and offer practical ways to help you build up your self confidence again.

I hope this helps, Lorna, and that before too long you begin again to enjoy the small pleasures of everyday life. Good luck. I will be thinking of you.

Dear Maggie

Iamso bored with life right now that I want to have something to look forward to so I suggested to my wife that we book a foreign holiday somewhere hot and sunny this summer.

She says it’s “still too risky” because no one knows if and when foreign travel will be possible. She doesn’t want to lose our hard-earned savings and I appreciate that. But surely after months of lockdown it would be the best treat to just get away to somewhere and have fun? Maggie says

I can’t think of a better pick-me-up than the thought of a carefree couple of weeks somewhere hot and sunny. It’s been a tough and testing time for most people and the promise of some fun in the sun is just what we all long for right now. So I’d advise you to get some brochures, leave them around for your wife to browse through and hopefully the conversation will turn to thoughts of a summer holiday.

Sometimes it is worth throwing caution to the wind, just to have something positive on the horizon. But remember that the travel restrictions are in place for a reason – to halt the spread of this horrible coronavirus.

It is important to check with the relevant authorities before booking a holiday that could end up just being cancelled.

Still, it will do you the world of good to plan a holiday, even if you do have to wait a bit longer than you’d want.

I do hope your wife enjoys planning it with you.