A COUPLE’S STORY ‘Life became unbearable. I was desperate for a divorce but couldn’t afford a lawyer’

We’ve changed their names but Jo, 51, is a marketing executive from Glasgow. She is married to Steven, 52, a teacher. They know better than most what it’s like to nearly break up over money problems.

We married in our 20s and for the first few years we were happy, building a life and chasing success. We met at work in a marketing firm, and in 2007, we decided to start a similar boutique business together, pooling our expertise. We rented an office in the city centre and borrowed £10,000 on credit cards to get up and running.

We were full of plans and talked about the business, day and night.

We were just beginning to get a few contracts – then the global financial crash happened in 2008.

I remember watching the bankers leave their offices on TV, and saying to Steven: “I think we’re in trouble.”

But he wouldn’t see it. He was convinced it was a temporary blip, and though I’d always admired his determination, as things worsened, he got more bullish, refusing to listen to my worries.

By the following year, we were really struggling. Most of our clients had left, citing financial problems, and a couple had gone bust themselves. I wanted us to admit defeat and return to steady employment, but he wouldn’t have it.

We began arguing almost daily. Steve wanted to remortgage our three-bed semi, but I was certain we wouldn’t be able to afford the repayments. Then I discovered he’d been keeping us afloat on the credit cards.

Suddenly, we had no money coming in and debts mounting. I couldn’t sleep for worry, and we had no choice but to remortgage to pay our debts.

Our business folded in late 2009 but nobody was hiring. The rows got so bad that Steve was sleeping in the spare room and I was desperate for a divorce but couldn’t afford a lawyer – and with no equity left in the house, there was no chance either of us could afford to move.

For almost a year, life was unbearable with constant rows and almost no money. I was sure our relationship was over.

Eventually, mainly to try to work through our finances before the split, we went to mediation.

In the second session, to my amazement, Steven broke down. He said he couldn’t bear how he’d let me down, and all his pig-headed behaviour had been a desperate attempt to claw back my respect.

That marked a turning point. A debt charity helped us set up manageable repayments and Steven decided to retrain as a teacher. It took months for me to trust him again but gradually, as we got back on our feet, I found my old feelings returning.

Now, we’re settled, we have a new house we can afford and I’m glad we stuck it out. Money worries are absolute poison to a relationship, though, and I wish we’d talked and admitted we were in trouble sooner, rather than trying to tough it out.

We only got through it because we finally decided to be honest with each other.