IN HIS OWN WORDS
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
I turned and rubbed my hands with glee. I always keep a tin of glee handy.
I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Money can’t buy friends but you get a better class of enemy.
Life is a long agonised illness only curable by death.
We haven’t got a plan, so nothing can go wrong.
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ. One day the “don’t knows” will get in and then where will we be?
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.
Education isn’t everything. For a start, it isn’t an elephant.
Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite, Irish for “I told you I was ill”, inscribed on his gravestone.