Relationships expert: Reunion with an ex depends on trust
The Tory Party thinking about reuniting with their ex leader is understandable but fraught with risk, according to a relationship expert.
Angela Trainer warned that while rekindled relationships can work, success depends on genuine change and new trust, adding: “The first and most important thing is to look at why we go back to an ex: it’s familiar.
“Human beings generally don’t like change, we prefer the status quo of what we know. The future is unknown and therefore that feels more risky, more challenging.
“In relationships, there’s an expression, ‘In memory gardens, it’s always summer’, so sometimes when we leave a relationship, we forget the reasons we left, and only remember the good times.”
Trainer, a director of Harvest Clinic in Glasgow, believes to repair a broken relationship, there needs to be change and a level of trust restored.
But in Johnson’s case, she’s not convinced enough time has passed to ensure history does not repeat itself. “One of the definitions of insanity is when you keep doing the same thing and expect to get different results,” Trainer said.
“Can people change? Yes, with support, work and effort – but only when there is insight into what it is that needs to change and understanding exactly what that is.
“Real hard work is when there’s supervision on how you challenge those behaviours and that doesn’t happen in just a couple of months. Change takes time.
“In terms of Boris Johnson, where’s the insight? Where’s the learning? Does he even have any concept of what he did wrong in the first place – or did he just get caught? I’d say in this case, the major issue there, and again in relationships, is trust.
“When the trust is broken, you don’t get that back in a heartbeat, that has to be repaired and it has to be earned.
“I’m not hearing anything from Boris Johnson that he understands what he did was unacceptable and why. There is no signs of change.”