Francis Gay

A knightly quest to end an age-old inequality battle

Last week the Lady of the House and I celebrated Mothering Sunday with many wonderful matriarchs – mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers.

There were dinners, flowers, the occasional glass of wine...

None of those ladies are still at the point where children take up all their time. But they would have empathised when, two days later, my sweetheart and I sat with a young mum who was sick with exhaustion, crying, and convinced she had failed as a mother.

I hope we were able to help a little. I also mentioned that every mother I know has felt that same feeling at one time or another, and very few of them got through those early years without a lot of help.

The roses, the dinners and the cards will come for her too – and be enjoyed in more leisurely times. In the meantime, it’s a reminder of how much they are deserved.

Getting in someone’s way is generally seen as bad form.

But... we’d do it for a child we saw heading for a fall or an adult we thought might be about to make a mistake.

Harry did something similar when he saw a scruffily-dressed young man shoplift food in a supermarket. The man hesitated before the entrance and the, apparently inattentive, security guard. He looked like he was considering a desperate dash out the door.

Harry “got in the way”. He held out his basket, and said: “Why don’t we add those to this lot?”

There was confusion, embarrassment, genuine gratitude, no one got arrested, and the security guard, who had been paying attention after all, gave him a thumbs-up on the way out. Getting in people’s way? Sometimes it’s the best way to set them on the right way.

Three-year-old Jamie visited a castle and bought a toy sword.

Then he enthusiastically defended the castle, the car and his home against “bad guys” and dragons. But, because his parents don’t worry about gender-specific toys, shortly afterwards he was wheeling a plastic shopping trolley around the garden.

“What did you get at the supermarket,” His dad, Harry, asked. “All I need,” the wee boy replied.

“He might have heard us saying that,” Harry told me. “Or maybe he just didn’t want to list his shopping. But, it had me thinking. I hope, in the future, the difference between the sexes won’t be such a battlefield. And if any young warrior, male or female, fancies taking up a knightly quest, they might tackle a “dragon” of inequality that has been around since before the time of castles.

Claire had just ended a longterm relationship, and decided crafting would make a good distraction. She heard of an older lady who had bags of crafting paraphernalia, free for collection.

It turned out the equipment had belonged to her husband. He had died, and seeing it around the house was too painful for her.

But, when it came time to let it go, Claire could see that was difficult for her as well. So, she stayed and they chatted for a little while.

Then Claire phoned to ask where fresh paints could be bought. And then she phoned with a question about a piece of equipment – which could best be answered over a cuppa.

Now, Claire and Pat meet weekly to discuss their various creations over coffee and cake.

Crochet, painting, card-making... they are all fine, but knitting together a new friendship, that has to be my favourite craft of all.

A mother’s job description,

Is varied but it’s clear,

To love unconditionally, and hold you very dear.

No matter what the years bring,

By your side she’ll stay,

So let her know she’s treasured,

Each and every day.