The case of the carry-on swan, and other twisted tails
Irish vet Pete Wedderburn has been advising Telegraph readers for 10 years and helping animals for 20 more. As his new book comes out, he looks back on some of his odder cases
The idea that you just need to like animals to be a vet is a myth: the truth is that you need to appreciate both humans and animals. And you need to enjoy the challenge of working out answers to difficult problems. Like most jobs, a vet’s working life includes mundanity: clipping dogs’ toenails, giving vaccinations and treating itchy ears. But what makes the job enjoyable is the challenge of mysteries that we are called to solve. Each difficult case is an intellectual challenge, like a complex crossword. The answer is always there: it can be difficult to find, but it’s satisfying when the clues are deciphered.
1 THE SWAN WHO FLEW WITH A BROKEN WING
Wild birds that can’t fly usually need to be euthanised, as they won’t survive in the wild. Swans somehow bridge the divide between “wild” and “tame”: they are often semidomesticated, being fed by local people as they gather on village ponds. Angel (as the injured swan was named) had been found by a dedicated swan lover. The Swan Sanctuary in London agreed to have her treated by its team of specialists: my job was to get her to them from my clinic outside Dublin. An impossible task? At the time, CityJet was a fledgling airline, keen to get publicity, , and after a few calls I found myself f sitting in business class with a trussed-up swan on my lap.
2 THE BOOZING BUDGERIGAR
When old Mrs McLean brought her budgie, Jock, to our clinic in his cage, she was worried: he was her only companion. His beak had grown so long it was curled around in a semicircle. In a darkened room (to minimise any stress to Jock), I clipped off the excessive beak. It was over very quickly, and the pair were soon on their way home. Half an hour later, the phone rang: it was Mrs McLean. Jock was in trouble. His clipped beak had started to bleed. She couldn’t bring him back to me before we closed. What should she do? I called out to her house on my way home, and after applying a bloodclotting pencil, the bleeding stopped. Mrs McLean seemed relieved. “Now then, what about a drop of whisky?” she offered. I smiled, and thanked her. “I didn’t mean for you!” she countered grumpily. “I meant for poor Jock. He’s been through a stressful time and I’m sure he’d appreciate a wee dram!”
3 THE DOG WITH COOL SHADES
Shelley was an elderly terrier who developed a bizarre visual defect that caused her to have seizure-like episodes if she ever stepped into bright sunlight out of the shade. Complex ocular surgery might have been possible but, at 14, this seemed like an extreme solution. In the end her owner, Mary, invested in a pair of Doggles, sunglasses for dogs, with tinted glass to protect the eyes from the sun’s rays, and a strap to hold them in place. Shelley soon became a local celebrity in her eye-catching eyewear.
4 THE DOG WHO SANG
I’ll never forget the first consultation with Max, the crossbred collie. Eric, his owner, lifted him on to the table and started to explain the problem. Max put back his head and howled. When Eric paused, Max stopped howling. This went on for about five minutes, and I had to ask Eric to write the problem down. Max had discovered that by howling, he could prevent his owner from engaging with other people, keeping Eric’s attention for himself. The answer was simple: Eric got a second dog who gave Max the attention he needed.
5 HELP FOR A HAMSTER
There’s a general acceptance that hamsters live for two or three years. But Hammy’s (adult) owner was unusually determined to give her pet the longest life possible. When his abdomen swelled up and he stopped eating, she asked me to find out why. After blood tests and X-rays had shown that he had an enlarged liver, I carried out an exploratory operation, expecting to discover he had untreatable liver cancer. In fact, I found that the cancer was confined to just one lobe of his tiny liver. I performed a lobectomy, removing the diseased tissue. As I finished the operation, I felt that his chances of survival were slim, but he went on to make a full recovery.
6 SURGERY ON A SHOESTRING
These days, specialist veterinary referral centres carry out a wide range of complex procedures in pets. When I qualified in the Eighties, these options weren’t available. When a local pensioner’s Yorkshire terrier, Bella, developed difficulty breathing, X-rays confirmed a pericardial effusion, when fluid builds up in the sac around the heart, restricting its ability to pump normally. Treatment is radical: open chest surgery to dissect away the cling-film pericardial sac. The only available surgeon was hundreds of miles away and the cost was beyond the pensioner’s budget. I felt there was only one option: to do it myself. With a skilled nurse to manage the anaesthetic and colleagues to assist, the operation went well, and Bella went on to live for many years. Such surgical escapades are rare today, but for Bella and her owner, it was a successful outcome.
7 THE TURTLE WHO LOST HIS APPETITE
Mr Swampy resembled a matchboxsized terrapin when he was rescued by Marc. He flourished, growing bigger every month. It turned out that Mr Swampy was a common snapping turtle, a species that’s native to the American continent, and that he might live for more than 100 years. He was going to be Marc’s companion for life. The reason Marc brought him to see me was that the turtle was struggling to return to full health after his hibernation, and he was losing weight. I don’t see many gigantic turtles, so it was difficult not to feel flummoxed at first. In the end, with the help of blood samples and X-rays, I was able to solve his difficulties and his usual appetite (and continued growth) resumed.
8 THE CAT ASSASSIN
GinGin the cat never forgot me after my first visit, when I gave him a vaccination that stung a little. He let me off with a swipe of his claws, but bore a grudge thereafter. When I next called, his owner, Christine, couldn’t find him, and the reason soon became clear. GinGin leapt on me from his hiding place on top of a wardrobe, landing on top of my head. I was bleeding by the time he let go. We devised a system for sedating him before visits, but after that I only visited the house if Christine said that she hadh GinGin underd direct observa-o tion.t
I found myself flying in business class with a trussed-up swan on my lap
9 A KANGAROO JOEY IN HIDING
While a locum in Queensland, I often treated kangaroo joeys after orphans from road kills were rescued. Joeys adapt, hopping in and out of makeshift “mother’s pouches” – a cloth shopping bag. Once, as an owner placed her bag on my consulting table, I peered into it, saying “What do we have here, then?” “What on earth do you mean?” said the owner. There was no joey: it contained only her things and she had just wanted to ask me about her dog.
10 A JUST SEW STORY
Cookie was a playful black-and-white cat who one day stopped playing and refused to eat. I anaesthetised him to take X-rays, and had to pass a tube into his windpipe. That’s when I saw it: a fine, translucent piece of thread wrapped around the base of his tongue, with the end of the thread trailing backwards. Emergency surgery found a large scrap of material attached to the thread and lodged in his stomach. While playing he’d pounced on and swallowed part of his owner’s embroidery kit.
It turned out that Mr Swampy was a common snapping turtle