MODERN STEREO­TYPES

The hol­i­day plan­ner

The Sunday Telegraph - Sunday - - Front Page -

Ge­orgie is in the first ec­stasy of hol­i­day plan­ning. Cam­bo­dia! Ev­ery­one is talk­ing about Cam­bo­dia – please can they go to Shinta Mani Wild? “Dar­ling, it is be­yond fab­u­lous! It’s like a lux­ury sa­fari in the jun­gle with Jackie O. You can ar­rive by road or he­li­copter or – as you’re such an ac­tion man – a zip-line into the Land­ing Zone Bar.”

She chirrups about the 15 tents sus­pended over rivers and wa­ter­falls, the ex­pe­di­tion boats into Cam­bo­dia’s last es­tu­ar­ine ecosys­tem and the food sus­tain­ably sourced from the sur­round­ing forests. Fer­gus says it is all mar­vel­lous, but £1,900 a night? The farm is not do­ing that well, old thing. Thus be­gins the de­scent of Ge­orgie’s dreams to re­al­ity.

Fer­gus and the labrador would ac­tu­ally like to stay at home, sniff­ing spring in the frosty air. Per­haps a week­end ski­ing if the Chol­mond­leys in­vite them to their chalet in Méri­bel – “Al­though the thing is, Fer­gus, we are rent­ing it out now. It has to wash its face. God knows what is go­ing to hap­pen af­ter March 29.”

Ge­orgie is not to be de­feated. She’s done Christ­mas – the tree, the stock­ings, the tur­key and Fer­gus’s fright­ful mother; she has done eight shoot lunches of var­i­ous brown-stewed hues (with mash); she has pro­vided 80 sausage rolls for the Chip­ping Fox­hounds meet in their field, plus hot bull shots steam­ing with vodka in­cu­bated in her flask. No one has helped her. She, Ge­orgie, bloody well de­serves a hol.

It has to be The Datai in Langkawi, Max Hast­ings says it is The Best Ho­tel in the World and who is to gain­say The Great Man? She dreams of her beach villa, of jolly lunches at the beach bar with other coun­try-nice-brits – it is quite the place to be, and in 2017 they did a mercy drop of rosé, so no wor­ries – and “Dar­ling, you could play golf.” And she can read Ben Mac­in­tyre on her Kin­dle. Now, do they have a com­pan­ion ticket for busi­ness class?

She pro­vided 80 sausage rolls for the Fox­hounds meet. She de­serves a hol

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